A few weeks ago, Sesame Street's ambiguously [insert adjective here] duo Bert and Ernie were part of a fuss regarding their sexual orientation and whether or not they should marry on the show.

A petition was started on Change.org requesting the TV show make the celebration happen. The Sesame Street Workshop responded a week later telling the group (via Facebook, how hip) that Bert and Ernie will – and should – not marry because, quite simply, puppets lack sexual orientation.

So in a reaction to support the sexual rights of puppets (wait, what?) a less ambiguous West Hollywood duo have begun creating “The Puppet Kama Sutra” coffee table book, a series of “artistically depicted” sexual acts – including all 64 of the ancient sex positions – featuring the kind of hand-operated “friends” we all were entertained by as kids.

Co-creators Ezra Butler and Guy Branum (a comedian dude you probably saw once or twice on “Chelsea Lately” once or twice) have sparked a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to finish creating the book and support their effort to promote puppet sexuality in a healthy and positive light.

Cuz we need that. Those poor puppets, having dealt with years of stifling suppression. It can't be easy – however possibly pleasant – spending every day with a fist up their rear ends.

Branum is particularly aghast, arguing that, “Sure, we let puppets win Tony's [for Avenue Q], we let them teach our children phonics, but we are offended by puppets physically expressing their love.”

Like totes, Guy. Like totes.

Nothing says "Love" quite like a fist up your bum.

Nothing says “Love” quite like a fist up your bum.

Branum and Butler hope to raise $46,969 – no more, no less – via Kickstarter to pay for the creation of original puppets and the production costs of the coffee table book and (ahem) accompanying film.

They've got a deadline of Sept. 21 in order to assure completion of the project in time for the Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa holiday seasons.

Keep your fingers crossed, guys.

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