Jean Splicing

The equation at the Antik Denim show: denim = tits. Of course, it’s not just Antik. Showing jeans automatically means we have to see models’ tits. Not that there’s anything wrong with that — it’s just so predictable. Also predictable is this retro-punk thing that’s going on. It’s all drudgery this year — black and gray, and trying to look as Sid and Nancy as possible. What’s worse, we’ve apparently seen the death of the boot-cut jean. It’s over. Too bad, ’cause they make everyone look good. All three denim shows Tuesday night — Antik, Yanuk and Taverniti So Jeans — featured tight-legged ankle chokers. At Antik they were paired with chunky boots. Yanuk featured models in denim corsets, skinny jeans and wild frayed coats. And remember the tuck-and-roll of the ’80s? You know, where you folded your jeans in at the ankle and rolled them up nice and tight? Yanuk’s designer used safety pins to make the slim line. Models donned chain headbands, giving the whole thing a Mad Max vibe crossed with Cyndi Lauper — if she’d been drained of all her color. Again, the palette was all charcoal and ashes — it was the same sooty story at Taverniti So Jeans. Apparently, denim goes chimney sweep this year. I think I’ll pair mine with a bright tee and stilettos instead of boots. And you can keep your damn safety pins to yourself, thank you. No punked-out chim-chimney chim-chim cheroo for me.

Paris Everywhere

I’m dubbing ice-skating queen Tara Lipinski the Paris Hilton of L.A. Fashion Week — she was everywhere. Speaking of Paris, Alex, the faux Paris, was at the show, getting photographers all excited until they swarmed around her and realized, “Wait, her boobs are too big! That’s not Paris!” Scott Weiland was there too, with his date, Mary. I asked him what he thought of the Yanuk show. He paused and said, “I like the leather.” Weird thing is, I don’t remember seeing any leather . . .

Big Daddy

It must be tough being Jack Nicholson’s daughter. It’s your big night showing at L.A. Fashion Week and all eyes are darting around the main tent lookin’ for your Big Daddy. A fight almost broke out at the entrance to the tent as people pushed and nudged like it was a Stones concert. Lara Flynn Boyle was there, with a very Reality Bites–era haircut. When the photographers, who had been spread out around the runway, suddenly drew together like magnetized neutrons, the swarm could mean only one thing: Big Daddy had arrived.

Proud Papa waved off photographers, didn’t answer any questions and watched (across from Flynn Boyle) as the show began. Lisa Rinna, from Dancing With the Stars and Soap Talk, sat next to me and gave a running commentary: “Oh, yeah, that’s nice. I like that. The color is great.” She was like the John Madden of Fashion Week.

Even without Big Daddy, Jennifer Nicholson’s fairy-tale-inspired line had been getting plenty of buzz. There were diaphanous princess nightie dresses, sheer minis, and skirts embroidered with standard fairy-tale paraphernalia — mushrooms, bowls of porridge, etc. Of course, this was the third show I saw this Fashion Week inspired by fairy tales. It seems the fashion Zeitgeist is about true love and the search for the happily ever after. Jennifer’s logo features two sea horses, creatures known for their monogamy — and the dad actually carries the baby. Hmmmm . . .

Blonde, James Blonde

Going against the damsel-in-distress, princess-waiting-for-Prince-Charming thing, Meghan Fabulous went tough girl with a “James Blonde” theme. Her clothes were by far the sexiest stuff I saw. This gal will definitely break your heart. And you like that. The line was not only sexy, but mysterious and unexpected. Isn’t that what you want when you get dressed up? There were trench coats, silver pistols hanging from necklaces, and handcuffed purses draped around arms. It was femme fatale through the decades: a ’20s flapper number, a ’60s mini with kimono-like sleeves, ’70s Charlie’s Angels–style halters. There were goddess dresses and lots of leopard and lace. What else would a secret agent wear? Also, Meghan Fabulous uses older models in her shows, which is so goddamn refreshing! These dresses would look great on anyone. (See some of her pieces in our Style section, starting on Page 41.)

See full L.A. Fashion Week coverage, including scenes and reviews of the first days of the runway shows, at and on L.A. Weekly’s Style Council blog.

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.