Dear righteous right-wingers: We're sorry you haven't learned your lesson by now. But it seems clear to us there is some divine retribution aimed straight at your heads.

Every time you call out gay people you end up being caught in a toe-tapping incident in an airport bathroom. Big proponent of abstinence? Your teen, underage daughter gets knocked up. Anti-drug? You have a pill problem.

And then there's the Rhode Island state lower house's GOP leader, Robert Watson, who recently criticized the Democrat-led state assembly by saying this:

I suppose if you're a gay man from Guatemala who gambles and smokes pot, you probably think that we're onto some good ideas here.

Of course, you can pretty much predict what happened next. Lightening struck with clockwork precision.

Watson was stopped over the weekend at a police checkpoint in R.I., where cops alleged he was drunk, stoned and in possession of … you guessed it … marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

The only thing missing was a gay Guatemalan in his trunk (or closet).

Watson responded to the allegations today. While he didn't deny being stoned, he did say he wasn't drunk:

While confident I was a safe and sober operator, trace evidence of marijuana was discovered and I was charged with operating under the influence, a charge I vehemently deny.

A subsequent breathalyzer test at the station showed that I was well below the legal limit of .08. I was processed and released within an hour.

Interesting because it's hard to prove one was under the influence of pot. Maybe he's got a case.

Too bad they can't charge him with talking out of his ass.

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