Sometimes, the hive mind is just wrong. Men's Health took a poll to determine the "manliest restaurants in America." With all that blather about "the wisdom of crowds" and whatnot, what did the genius readers of the magazine decide was the most manly restaurant in Los Angeles? Salt's Cure. Yeah, really. The nouveau butchery-cum-restaurant that feels like it was airlifted from Williamsburg, complete with cutting boards and disinterested hipster waitstaff, and plunked down intact in West Hollywood.
Ron Swanson laughs at your puny $14 plate of "thin, ruddy slivers of duck ham that shine like leather jerkins in Rembrandt paintings." Then he drives to Taylor's in Koreatown and has a steak bigger than his head.
So what is the manliest restaurant in Los Angeles? We can think of about a hundred restaurants that could vie for the title, but we don't have time to list every Korean barbecue joint in the city. Instead, let's just say: Our idea of a manly restaurant features hefty portions of charred red meat alongside generous pours of Scotch in a dimly lit environment preferably adorned with black velvet paintings of topless women.
The Manliest Restaurants in Amaerica, according to Men's Health
NORTHEAST: Keens Steakhouse (New York City, NY)
MIDWEST: Jethro's BBQ (Des Moines, IA)
NORTHWEST: Couloir (Jackson Hole, WY)
SOUTHEAST: Gus's World Famous Hot & Spicy Chicken (Memphis, TN)
SOUTHWEST: Salt Lick BBQ (Austin TX)
SAN FRANCISCO: Original Joe's (San Jose, CA)
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GULF COAST: Alabama Jack's (Key Largo, FL)
LOS ANGELES: Salt's Cure (Los Angeles, CA)
MID-ATLANTIC: Primanti Bros. (Pittsburgh, PA)