The pumpkin spice latte, long the punch line of every insult about the so-called "basic bitch," has reached a new level of mockery: its own seasonal Umami burger, which is even more ridiculous and calorie-laden than any basic beverage you might find at Starbucks. Umami, which issued a press release urging diners to throw on their Ugg boots on the way to "yogilates," is clearly in on the joke.
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Topped with garlic aioli and squash tempura, the beef patty is spiced with Mascarpone, glazed with coffee and stuffed between two Umami-branded buns, so it's like having a holiday breakfast, lunch and dinner all on one plate. The burger debuts tomorrow for just $4, which is about the price of an actual pumpkin spice latte, if you're willing to brave the pumpkin-crazed masses.