We realize this could be a fool's errand for Butterball, since there are no aspiring actors or chefs in Los Angeles. However, for the first time ever, the company is looking for men to be, er, spokesmen for the company, and wannabe actors/chefs would be just the ticket.
To qualify as the Turkey Talk-Line spokesman, you must be a U.S. resident, at least 25 years old, love to cook, be willing to travel, and, most importantly, you must "self-identify as a man."
The company is also enlisting men for the first time to dispense turkey-cooking advice for their Turkey Talk holiday hotline, but you must live near Chicago to score that gig.
The talk line, celebrating its 32nd year, offers advice to anyone overwhelmed by the thought of taking that gigantic bird, stuffing something inside its giant yawning craw and turning it into cooked fowl that won't stick uncomfortably to your Thanksgiving guests' throats on the way down.
Last year Butterball bounced into the 21st century, launching a smartphone app, Facebook live chats, Pinterest posts and other social media tools. (It also has started calling its fans "Turketarians," but it might want to rethink that one.)
But the chat line, which has grown from six operators to about 60 since it started in 1981, has never hired men before. Butterball says it wasn't trying to exclude men, but it usually relied on word-of-mouth to hire its help line operators, and its hires just usually were women.
However, now the company is actively trying to right that wrong.
"It's the perfect time, because we have seen more and more men involved in Thanksgiving dinner," Mary Clingman, director of the Butterball Turkey line, told the Chicago Sun-Times. She points out that when the talk line started, only about 9 percent of calls were from men. Now, it's about 25 percent, she says.
Butterball, based in Garner, N.C., is offering an online application to apply to be the spokesman for the line or one of the operators, via its Facebook page. The spokesman, who will man the help line and offer turkey tips via media appearances, can be based anywhere, but hotline operators should live near Chicago, where the hotline is operated.
The application for spokesman involves answering three essay questions about your personal turkey cooking experiences and general awesomeness and submitting a 1-2 minute video discussing same. The pay is "education at Butterball University from top turkey experts" plus an undisclosed "cash award." And all the leftover turkey sandwiches you can eat.
The online application is available now and closes October 20.
Most Butterball talk-line operators have a background in food or nutrition and have culinary degrees or are dietitians, food stylists or scientists, according to the Sun-Times. They also share an avid interest in debating the pros and cons of giblets in gravy. All must take a crash course in turkey preparation at the Butterball University training program.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
The talk line will be staffed during business hours in November and December, and will assist about 1 million desperate would-be turkey-makers in the United States and Canada.
If you want to really talk turkey, this is your chance. Make the pilgrims proud, son.
Want more Squid Ink? Follow us on Twitter or like us on Facebook, and follow Samantha Bonar at @samanthabonar.