To kick off the fifth season of his FX drama Rescue Me, star Denis Leary brought a collection of fellow stand-ups (who just happened to be series regulars) together for the 11-city Rescue Me Comedy Tour… his first large-scale jaunt in 12 years. While the Saturday-night crowd seemed to be comprised mostly of out-of-towners sporting their best khakis and eager attitudes, Leary's stage presence was no-holds-barred aggression. Lenny Clarke put it best from the Nokia Theatre stage, observing to Leary at the top of his set, “I think it's safe to say you broke the 'fuck' meter tonight.” Herewith, the stats*:

Leary's opening 40 minutes — during which he showed overhead slides, poked fun at the likes of Bernie Madoff, Madonna, the Octomom and Salma Hayek's breasts, and related an uncomfortable spa incident — through his introduction of special guest Nick DiPaolo.

Shit 11

Goddamn 7

Cock 20

Cocksucker 1

Fuck 40

Fucker 2

Fuckin' 187

Motherfucker 2

Material on backstage Emmy shenanigans and introduction of Lenny “Fuckin' Clarke.

Shit 2

Fuck 6

Fuckin' 26

Discussion of the Rescue Me Comedy Tour remaining more subdued than runs in the long-time friends' past, performance of “The Traditional Irish Folk Song,” goofing on Kevin James and introduction of Adam Ferrara.

Shit 2

Fuck 4

Fuckin' 17

Closing remarks, realization that Kevin James is in the audience.

Goddamn 1

Fuck 1

Fuckin' 12

TOTALS:

Shit 15

Goddamn 8

Cock 20

Cocksucker 1

Fuck 51

Fucker 2

Fuckin' 242

Motherfucker 2

*Excluding numerous utterances during full-band opening numbers “At the Rehab” and “Fuck You,” as well as closer “Asshole.”

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