Dennis RomeroBest idea ever: Tour the world of L.A. porn for a night for only $399. See where the magic really happens.
Even better: L.A. Porn Tours is glitzing it up with a party bus, two live porn star tour-guides, a visit to famous bars and a strip club, and a live adult video performance for guests.
That's a lot better than the reality of porn, which isn't so glamorous:
Even the highest-level productions feature beds with baby wipes and bottles of lube: You'd want to bring gloves.
The L.A. Porn Tour will take you to the Rainbow Room (not exactly a porn industry hot spot) on the Sunset Strip and Spearmint Rhino Van Nuys. Eh.
A bar, a strip club and girl-on-girl for $399?
We'll take you on the Real Porn Star Tour for only $25, gas included. You'll get:
Charity Bangs.; Credit: laporntours.com
-The real alley where Dirk Diggler went down on a man for drug money! (We kid).
-The well-worn couch at the World Modeling agency, the notorious front door for young women who want introductions to adult video.
-The cliff where porn star Steven Hill stood off with police and, ah, bad stuff happened. (Too soon, we know).
-Charlie Sheen's house.
-Sardo's for Porn Star Karaoke!
-The site of Sasha Grey's last shoot (R.I.P.).
With all the money you saved, you can still get a live, personal performance in the comfort of your own home. There are websites for that.
Still, if you want to do the L.A. Porn Tour and keep the real porn world at a distance, we wouldn't blame you.
Just remember that authenticity is fleeting. But with the L.A. Porn Tour, you do get a free frigging t-shirt.
The inaugural event is June 23. Get your tickets here.
[Update at 5:03 p.m. June 13]: We've been informed of this breaking news: The price of the tour is now $199. Now that's starting to look like a deal to us.
[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]
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