Alt-porn superstar and BurningAngel.com founder Joanna Angel has had a lot of sex in her day. She's also seen a lot of tattoos. Pretending this is a geometric proof, a likely conclusion pulled from the previous given statements would be that Angel has had sex with a lot of tattooed people.

But then this happens: You're about to rail a dude whose pouty lips seem like he probably might be pretty good at eating pussy. He rips off his shirt and, before you can comment on his emo abs and happy trail, you see – GASP! – a permanent reminder that he's probably just another douche.

Guys: Here are Joanna Angels' top 5 worst tattoos to see on a dude she's about to fuck. So basically…if you've got one of these…don't try to fuck her. Or most women, for that matter. Instead, go see that Tattoff guy from “Dr. 90210.” He'll know what to do. (But he might laugh at you first.)

  1. A tramp stamp
  2. Another girl's name
  3. A quote or image from a Linkin Park song
  4. Jesus
  5. A swastika

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