This town would be much more boring without Charlie Sheen and his cliff-diving Mercedes-Benzes (two of them), abuse-claiming exes (two of them) and jilted assaulted porn actresses prostitutes.

Adult video starlet Capri Anderson came on strong Monday with a tearful appearance on Good Morning America and a promise of a civil claim that accuse Sheen of false imprisonment, assault and other abuses following a dinner “date” in New York last month.

Except that the claim has yet to be filed in L.A. Superior Court, as promised. And now …

… Charlie Sheen has hit back with a suit of his own. It claims that Anderson tried to extort him for cash.

The suit calls Anderson an “opportunistic pornographic film star and publicity-hungry scam artist.”

Whoa.

But wait, there's more. Some tabloid speculators stated that Anderson tried unsuccessfully to obtain the services of one Gloria Allred, leading to conjecture that maybe Allred didn't think she had a case.

In any case, her lawyer says Anderson is letting New York City police know what happened at a New York hotel (alleged throat-grabbing and lamp throwing) before she takes the matter to civil court.

Okay. So how's she going to explain that $3,500 “date” fee to cops? Oh yeah, we've seen Craigslist. It was a “donation.”

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