Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is, ironically, well known to fans of kinky sex because of the alternative identity that has been attached to his name.

Ironic because Santorum, a conservative among conservatives vying for the Republican nomination, is a known homophobe and outspoken prude. If he's getting his sweater vests dirty, it's certainly on the down-low.

And now the man who is number two in the Republican race (and we mean that) is making clear his position on porn, via his website:

America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography. A wealth of research is now available demonstrating that pornography causes profound brain changes in both children and adults, resulting in widespread negative consequences. Addiction to pornography is now common for adults and even for some children. The average age of first exposure to hard-core, internet pornography is now 11. Pornography is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women. It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking.

Heathens. Since when did ultra-right conservatives and black preachers change places?

Credit: Keith Plocek

Credit: Keith Plocek

Anyway, the real question here: Should L.A.'s adult video titans be scared? Adult Video News, the voice of the industry, notes that we, the media, are just noticing something on Santorum's site that has been there for about a month.

Clearly, this is breaking news.

But more importantly, it notes that UCLA Law Professor Eugene Volokh (via the Daily Caller) opines that Santorum in the White House (not the kind left on the sheets by Bill Clinton, but the actual guy) could indeed mean a crackdown on good old American smut.

The prof sayeth:

If the government wanted to aggressively move against internet pornography, it could do so. Here's the deal: In most parts of the country, a lot of pornography on the internet would plausibly be seen as obscene.

While other experts beg to differ, Volokh is absolutely right.

In fact, all one needs to do is rewind a few years and discover that the Bush II administration launched an attack on porn, entrapping producers by ordering DVDs online and having them sent to conservative districts where juries would clearly find the material obscene.

In fact one of Porn Valley's more mainstream (if not “Gonzo”) producers, Max Hardcore, spent federal time behind bars as a result of George W. Bush's initiative.

If that doesn't tell you what would happen under the likes the of Santorum, we don't know what would.

But, back to that question: Should the industry be scared?

That really comes down to whether you think a right-wing kook like Santorum has a chance in hell. We'd bet an extra-large bottle of our favorite brand of lube that Rick is way too big of a dick to ever slip into the back door of the White House on your watch.

[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

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