Peaches and Cream

Peaches is one hot bitch. I had the pleasure of interviewing her for the cover of Bust magazine (on stands in January) a couple of weeks ago and yeah, I've been known to break into one of her songs at inappropriate times, singing lyrics like “sucking on my titties like you wanted me” or “my labia majora soft as angora” out loud at the bank or something, but I had never seen her perform live until tonight. Yowzers. She gives it up, she works for it like a multiple orgasm attempt, beaded with sweat and determined to get us off.

Peaches performed for a seated and contained audience before John Waters Christmas Show at UCLA . She opened with her yet to be released track “Two Guys For Every Girl” dressed in a hot pink padded push-up bra and silver short shorts. But it was AA XXX that completely won me over, I always thought AA referred to batteries for vibrators but she's actually talking about her breast size. It reminded me of another small breasted champion— Shakira who sings “lucky that my breasts are small and humble so you don't confuse them with mountains.” Only with Peaches she saves the poetry and instead goes for “Only double A, Thinking triple X, Licky licky sucky, sucky Nobody here can tell me they don't wanna fucky fucky.”

The crowd was into it but stayed seated. Even two chicks dressed loosely as roosters, with showy tail feathers and headdresses, ripping each other's clothes off, and rubbing each other down during a “cock fight dance” AND a team of pastied dancers simulating all kinds of sex, couldn't inspire anyone in the crowd to get the fuck up, but you could feel the heat building, they were about to explode, and when Peaches (who also treated the crowd to some Hebrew holiday songs) finally gave them what they wanted— her get-over-it anthem “Fuck the Pain Away”— about 100 college students rushed the stage to jump-dance and shout along with her. I felt free to indulge, “sucking on my titties like you wanted me…” though the people next to me looked like they were waiting to check their balance….

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