Drew TewksburyYesterday, we witnessed the Biebs on wax. No, we're not just talking about the Bieber scratchin' vinyl. That's right, like Han Solo being encased in Carbonite, the Canadian teen sensation was forever immortalized as a wax figure at Madame Tussaud's in London. Then it happened. While staring into the Nietzschean abyss of wax-Biebs' dead eyes, I remembered the results of a insomniac Google search that has polluted my memory ever since: Musician Wax Figures. In the depths of this after-hours search (Googling “Katy Perry Sesame Street Cleavage ” would have been less embarrassing), I found a creeptastic gold mine. In 2009, the Hollywood Wax Museum “retired” some of their aging figures, and put them up for auction by Profiles in History. Finally, the (scary) wax likenesses of Michael Jackson, Cher, and Cindi Lauper (?) could be yours! In honor of the Biebster's induction to the pantheon of waxtastrophes, we compiled our Top Ten Creepy Musician Wax Figures (with a bonus figure, cause ours goes to 11) for your viewing (dis)pleasure:
It's interesting to see an actual price put on these musicians. Their price must fluctuate with how famous they are at any moment. How does Cher measure up to Michael Jackson? Why are they both worth more than Jesus (and Cindi Lauper)? These wax figures aren't just collectors items, they could be used as currency, or stocks. In a volatile market, only wax will prevail.
11. Bruce Springsteen
From the Catalog: The Boss”, is featured wearing his signature blue jeans and white t-shirt made popular by his critically acclaimed “Born in the U.S.A.” album. The head was sculpted in wax by Logan Fleming and portrait painted in oil. The figure wears blue jeans, jean jacket, white t-shirt and red bandana (no shoes). Stands approx. 5 ft. 10 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal Question: Where are your feet, Bruce?
Creepiness factor: 6
10. Willie Nelson
From the Catalog: Legendary country singer-songwriter, author, and poet, the figure wears signature blue jeans, leather belt, jean jacket, open collar white shirt, black t-shirt, and red bandana. Made by Logan Fleming, the figure feathres a sculpted wax head portrait painted in oil. Stands approximately 6 ft. 1 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal question: Did you eat too many Sour Patch Kids, Willie?
Creepiness factor: 7
9. Barbra Streisand
From the Catalog: An incredibly detailed likeness of multiple Emmy, Grammy and Golden Globe-winning singer and actress Barbra Streisand. The figure wears a black satin gown and fitted jacket. No shoes are included with the figure which stands approximately 5 ft. 8 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal Question: Why is Babs poised to deliver a gruesome karate chop?
Creepiness Factor: 4
8. Stevie Wonder.
From the Catalog: Legendary musician Stevie Wonder wears a custom-made suit with blue diamond pattern jacket, black shirt, and bold print tie. His braided hair is tied with dozens of beads. A beautiful figure with loads of detail. The wax head was sculpted by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn and portrait painted in oil. Stands approximately 6 ft. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal Question: Why does Stevie resemble the Predator?
Creepiness factor: 6
7. Michael Jackson: Thriller
Starting Bid $2,000″Zombie” Michael Jackson, male zombie, and female zombie from Michael Jackson's “Thriller” video. These exceptionally realistic figures were produced by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn at the time of Michael Jackson's critically- acclaimed song, “Thriller”. The face and hands of the Michael Jackson zombie are painted green, and he wears a reproduction of the signature red leather jacket and red pants which have faded to pale pink.
Starting Bid $2,000
Optimal Question: Why does MJ look like a green Charlie Sheen?
Creepiness factor: 9
6. Cindi Lauper
From the Catalog: Eccentric pop singer Cyndi Lauper, who has sold over 25 million records, wears a replica of her famed costume and hairstyle from pop video “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (1983). The hands and head are sculpted from wax and portrait painted in oil. Stands approximately 5 ft. 6 in. tall. Expected price $1,000 – $1,500
Starting Bid $500
Optimal Question: Did you escape from Fraggle Rock?
Creepiness factor: 6.5
5. Hank Williams, Sr..
From the Catalog: Singer, songwriter, pioneer of honky tonk music, Hank Williams, Sr. is truly an icon of country music. This figure wears his signature pinstriped western tailored coat with wide lapels and imitation leather trimmed shoulders, white shirt and string tie. The figure includes a real guitar and stands approximately 6 ft. tall. An impressive display. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal question: Where is your Satanic puppet master?
Creepiness factor: 9
4. Cher
From the Catalog: Multi-talented actress and singer Cher was crafted by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn, who was her personal make-up artist for a year. He sculpted the head in wax with portrait painted in oil. Horn also custom-made a replica of her elaborate jeweled Oscar gown, originally created by famed fashion designer Bob Mackie. Measures 6 ft. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $2,000
Optimal Question: Why the long face?
Creepiness factor: 7
3. Johnny Cash
From the Catalog: Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter and one of the most influential musicians of the 20th century. This highly detailed figure bears an uncanny likeness to “The Man in Black” and wears a long black coat, black pants, black shirt, black tie and black shoes. Stands approximately 6 ft. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal Question: Trent Reznor? Is that you?
Creepiness factor: 8
2. Dolly Parton
From the Catalog: Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter and actress, Dolly Parton is known as “The Queen of Nashville”. This figure features her shock of bright blonde hair and wears a red and gold sparkling dress (no shoes are included) and stands approximately 5 ft. 10 in. tall. Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal question: Why does she have deer hooves?
Creepiness factor: 7
1. Elton John
From the Catalog: Elton John wears a reproduction of one of his stage-worn outlandish costumes consisting of a black and white contrasting tuxedo, ruffled tuxedo shirt, and large sunglasses. The figure was molded by Leah DeLio and stands approximately 6 ft. tall. Estimate Expected price $2,000 – $3,000
Starting Bid $1,000
Optimal question: Why must you populate my nightmares?
Creepiness factor: 10
BONUS!
From the Catalog: Anthony Hopkins as “Dr. Hannibal Lecter” from Silence of the Lambs. (Orion, 1991) The sinister cannibalistic serial killer, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, was made by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn from a previously-retired figure and displayed in the Horror Chamber to acknowledge its Oscar win for Best Picture. Emulating Lecter's creepy prison transport, the figure comes complete on a refrigerator dolly and is wearing a bright orange prison jumpsuit, straitjacket, and plastic face mask. Measures 6 ft. 1 in. tall. $2,000 – $3,000
Optimal Question: Should people who bid on this figure also be put on an FBI watch list?
Creepiness factor: 100,000
Michael Jackson from Bad.
From the Catalog: This realistic Michael Jackson figure features a wax head sculpted by Hollywood Wax Museum curator Ken Horn and wears a replica of one of his most iconic outfits. The black leather motorcycle jacket decorated with gold police badge-style emblems and large gold belt buckle were reproduced directly from the originals, which Jackson donated to the Museum. The body is constructed of fiberglass, the hands from wax. Measures 5 ft. 8 in. tall. $3,000 – $5,000
Starting Bid $1,500
Optimal Question: Is Michael Jackson Navajo?
Creepiness factor: 8
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