Whoever declared a few years back that Halloween has basically turned into Dress Like A Hooker Day was indeed a prophetic genius.
It won't be long until we simply go out as walking genitalia. Until then, the viral success of the kink-infested book Fifty Shades of Grey has at least kept a small layer of modesty on our backs by suggesting that the fresh costume for Halloween 2012 is ...
... this one:
We love the simplicity of it. The guy is basically just wearing what he might wear any day, plus a telltale Fifty Shades cover tie. The woman has a mask.
If you're in a gay relationship, male or female, two ties and -- boom! -- you're done. This is the Cup Noodles of Halloween.
Brilliant from a lazy man's perspective. (You know the female Fifty Shades wearer is also rocking three hours worth of mani-pedi, makeup and lingerie prep, though).
Not to be outdone, however, Big Bird (and we emphasize the word "big") is also a top costume, apparently, thanks to an unlikely source, the cardboard cutout known as Mitt Romney.
But back to Fifty Shades (or, if you're a hip-hop fan, you could don a do-rag and a grey tie and go Fiddy Shades), Sportsheets tells us they have the "sexy masquerade masks" and the "infamous grey tie" for retailers. And:
The company's collection of masks, ties, blind folds, floggers and handcuffs bring the fantasy to life and are the essential pieces of this season's must-have Halloween costume.
Yeah. Drunk people and handcuffs. What could possibly go wrong?
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Sportsheets president Julie Stewart:
... There's no better way to live out the 'Fifty Shades' fantasy than dressing the part for one special night!
Just be careful out there.