Who's a good boy? You're a good boy! is what you say as you transfer your dog's toxocara, salmonella, giardia, and hookworm to your mouth with gentle, loving kisses. And you're afraid of sushi?
This is a particularly SoCal phenomenon, since we live in a place where Shih Tzus far outrank Mexicans on the social ladder.
The Milk-Bone Doggy Love Index (yeah, there's a Milk-Bone Doggy Love Index) this week revealed that California is the top state in the union for "doggy kisses" and "regular cuddle time."
You heard right. Big Heart Pet Brands, the makers of Milk-Bone, Pup-Peroni, Canine Carry Outs and Milo's Kitchen canine treats, asked 3,000 "dog parents" from coast to coast about "how regularly they engage in loving behaviors with their dogs."
California, home of the pet spa and puppy yoga, came out on top.
New York (2), Washington (3), Tennessee (4) and Florida (5) rounded out the top 5, though we'd be wary of the kind of love expressed toward pets in certain parts of the Deep South. We kid! (A little).
Nearly half of all the respondents said they planned to celebrate Valentine'sDay by telling their dogs, "I love you." Perfectly normal.
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More than one in three unmarried women with pups (39 percent) say they would rather spend Valentine's Day with their pooches than with a date, according to the survey.
Nearly one in five dog-owning men (18 percent) said "having a dog helps them get more dates," according to a statement from Big Heart Pet Brands.
Both sexes said dog lovers are more attractive. Except for the hookworm and stuff.