You think the Los Angeles Police Department is a little nervous about Friday night's Critical Mass bike ride? In May cops and cyclists clashed, with riders claiming that an officer threw a kick at a bike (a move apparently caught on tape) while others threw riders down. (It's under investigation).
Now LAPD has released a passive-aggressive statement wishing the riders well but warning there will be no shenanigans.
It'll be a warm night, and the moon's almost full, so maybe police are justified in fearing lots of skinny, stoned people on bikes. Sounding a little like an authority figure on Beavis & Butthead, LAPD listed things it does NOT want to see ...
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Thefts / Assaults
*Gluten-free sack lunches
Drinking in Public
Smoking/using illicit substances
Driving/Riding under the influence
Running red lights/Stop sign
Crossing the center line or riding against traffic
Is this a bike ride or a biker convention?
For those who dare, the party starts at 7:30 p.m. at Wilshire Boulevard and Western Avenue in Koreatown and goes -- wherever it pleases. Bring your own pepper spray.
*We kid (but the rest of the list is real).