Ah, to have rich people problems.
If we asked you what worry topped the list of issues L.A.'s wealthy are concerned about the most, you'd probably guess right: Money.
With my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Maybe that's why they have it and we don't? The new Merrill Edge Report on locals who have "investable assets ranging from $50,000 to $250,000" - a.k.a. rich people - spells it out for us:
The number one issue this class of Angelenos face is "not having enough money throughout retirement," according to local figures sent to the Weekly by Merrill.
Yes, break out the tissue, because we are crying for these folks.
While you worry about not having enough money for the bus or not having enough money for rent, these Angelenos are focused on having enough to maintain a lifestyle apart from yours well into their golden years.
You have to give them points for proper prioritizing. Sixty-two percent of the folks surveyed by Merrill said this was their number one fear.
The number two fear (40 percent said so) was "losing my job," according to Merrill. Hey, there's an issue we can all relate to.
Number three: Public speaking! Again, we all feel the same. As in, Hey, you, stop spray painting graffiti on the side of my house.
More than one in four rich Angelenos was concerned with weight gain (number four).
And finally, that problem that really rocks our world came in fifth: Going to the dentist (17 percent). Being able to afford to go to the dentist is on our list.
Merrill also compiled a list of top priorities for L.A.'s wealthy: Numero uno (59 percent of respondents went for this) was, of course, "saving more for the future," which is better than spending more for food.
Number two (56 percent) was "having enough money to live comfortably today." (That's better than ours: having enough money for a burrito today).
Third (42 percent) was "getting the most out of investments," the poor version of which is getting the most out of your dealer.
And fourth, with nearly 1 in 4 respondents checking this box, was "providing for others." And, before you get excited, this isn't about leaving the help a nice tip. Others is defined as children, elderly parents and the like.
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Keep in mind that Merrill will gladly help these people with their monetary worries.
Merrill surveyed 1,000 random wealthy people throughout America last month but then also "oversampled" by also asking an additional 300 Angelenos its questions.
The results, of course, prove that the rich really are like you and me. Except with money. And lack of empathy.