Trendy condom company Sir Richard's has done us all a public service with its condom subscription service, which sends you a set supply of condoms once a month to assure you're never caught without a rubber.
That means we can carefully remove from the fossilized sheath we put in our wallets on prom night "just in case." None of us used it, and we most definitely shouldn't now.
Years of neglect have rendered the wrapper transparent and squinting to decipher the blurred expiration date is not worth the cataracts later in life.
All you gotta do is guess how much sex you think you're gonna have each month (be sure to round up to the nearest whole number - BJs ≠ 1/2) and enter the number at Sir Richard's convenient
ego-boost registration website.
Then the company does the leg work to determine how many boxes you'll need on your doorstep and kindly won't call your bluff when you request the Extra Large variety.
We haven't gotten our econo-pack in the mail yet but we're told the box is discreet - unlike all those black-bag-wrapped magazines everyone knows aren't New Yorkers - so there's no need to rush home on the 1st of the month to intercept the mail from your roommates (or parents.)
But what's not immediately apparent about Sir Richard's is that it's in the business of pleasure - and philanthropy. If you click "Learn More" about its mission statement (which no one ever does, but humor us this one time) you'll find that for every Sir Richards condom purchased the company will donate one to a developing region in need.
Hard to believe. So we called the company. This is what they said:
There is a huge unmet need for condoms globally, so the possibilities are really limitless. For every condom purchased, we will donate one to a developing country. And as we grow, our work will result in more condoms getting in the hands of those who need them most.
Their inaugural effort is in Haiti where Sir Richards representatives are working with Partners in Health, a NGO that's been working in the region for almost 25 years. Together they're engaging local artists, public health workers and other community members to co-create brands and packaging to appeal to each area's unique demographic to promote condoms and make using them more appealing.
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So this holiday season you can essentially cancel out the "naughty" every time you buy (and hopefully use) a condom if you get it from Sir Richards.
Now, we've never used this brand so fuck knows if they feel any different from the free rubbers we get showered with at Planned Parenthood. But if helping the safe sex movement around the world isn't enough incentive to give them a try, how about a 35% discount if you buy a bunch before the New Year? (Use clever discount code NAUGHTY&NICE.)
No? What if we told you the packaging was plaid.
Ah, now we got you.