The Independent UK's sniffing dismissal of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's Golden Globe Awards was harsh enough, but then it went after Kate Winslet with glee for two days running.
"It was, by any standards," wrote Judith Woods, "the performance of a lifetime. Swooping emotional glissandos, wild-eyed fervour, tears and hyperventilation: the unflinching portrait of a woman in extremis. And that was just her acceptance speech."
Woods then cattily took note of Winslet's size 10 dress, her highlights, tan and how she'd been digitally made to look thinner in GQ.
The Independent's Brian Viner also piled on, claiming that Winslet had "succumbed dreadfully to awards-itis, responding to her Golden Globe with the kind of tear-stained intensity that some women reserve for the moment they are handed their first-born child."
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We can only imagine how they would've clawed up an American actress.