During the course of the last 12 years I've spent as a body worker, I've talked to countless clients who marvel at my ability to perform massage.They feel intimidated to give their partner a massage…what if they are too hard, too fast, too slow or too soft? Exhausted at the prospect of not performing massage perfectly, many people just give up altogether. But don't give up…massage is easy and can be just as sensual for the giver or as the receiver if you follow these 4 failure-proof secrets of giving a great massage.
Secret Number One: Relax. The most important thing is for you, the giver, to relax. The best way to give a good massage is to be calm and relaxed yourself. You need to be able to tune into your partners body. Think about how relaxed and calm the masseuse is when you have a professional massage…they radiate serenity and peace don't they? You must do the same thing. Try to get in touch with your own experience of giving the massage – focus on the feel of your partners skin, their muscles, the smooth feel of the oil or lotion. Derive pleasure from this.
Secret Number Two: Set the Mood. Turn off the TV. Start with some nice relaxed mood lighting…get creative with some fabric over a lamp…light some scented candles. Pick music without lyrics as words tend to bring people back into their heads which is exactly what you are trying to leave behind! Select an oil that is safe for the skin and not sticky. My favorite are the tingling oils. Or be bold! Try a different one for every part of the body. If you don't have a massage table available, the best way for you to both be comfortable is if your partner is laying face down length wise at the foot of the bed. Or, if they are too tall, they should lie along the edge of the bed with their head at the foot. This way you can stand comfortably and reach the majority of their body without strain.
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Secret Number Three: Long Flowing Strokes. Warm the oil in your hands. Breathe deeply. Slowly start to apply the oil, noticing the way your partner's skin feels under your fingers. Think of creating long flowing strokes - a sensual dance you are smoothing your way hand over hand from the nape of the neck all the way down to the small of the back and up over the buttocks slowly making your way back up to the head. Feel your own undulation as you move, imaging you are flowing like water. Lose yourself in the experience. Visualize that you are connecting one part of their body to another.. Always thinking of flowing movement. Keep breathing deeply and notice if you are starting to feel tingling sensations in your own body as you are so decadently pleasuring you partner.
Secret Number Four: Props. Feathers, leathers and lips. A feather can be one of the sensualista's greatest tools - the technique is simple. Pretend you are a Picasso - creating great art with the feather as your brush. Leathers are fun and a flogger makes a great body brush. Lightly sweeping over the entire body will awaken all your partners senses. Lips. Only good if you are already fairly intimate with your partner! While you are massaging try finishing parts of the body with kisses and nibbles. A teasing bite on the bum or a strategically placed kiss in that sensitive spot behind the knee never hurt anyone.
Remember…massage doesn't have to be performed perfectly to be effective...the most important things are your own state of mind (relax!), the atmosphere, and sense of fun.
Eli the Girl is a licensed body worker. She can be reached on myspace.com/elithegirl