10. At first, the Metropolis-like dystopia of urban ruins and decay conjures a less than dazzling vision of the future. But next thing you know--bam!--there's the multi-racial KLF collective, guys in leather, and guitar shredding a-plenty. Suddenly, the prospect of dining on squirrels and sundry carrion doesn't seem so bad after all.
9. Like Snap's epic economic treatise, "The Power." "3 a.m. Eternal" features a garbled, heavily accented, crypto-Communist message at the beginning of the song, portending a future filled with widespread mangling of the English language. Clearly, this was intended to foreshadow the emergence of George Bush and Sarah Palin.
8. Rappers named Ricardo Da Force who rock geek glasses and program beats on Zach Morris cell phones. Enough said.
7. KLF also went by the name Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu. Coincidentally this was also Deerhunter's original name, for vastly different reasons.
6. For inventing the word, "baseballistics." Or did they?
5. Because I want to live in a future with girls who dance to hip-house while wearing azure Druid cloaks. Sort of.
4. Arabic Flute Solos.
I'm Just Going To Refrain From Making Some Sort of Really Bad Pun Here, K? K.
3. Because the thought that somewhere upon hearing this song, Cole, Civilles and the entirety of their factory o' music broke out in tears.
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2. The metaphysical questions the song raises. Is time really eternal? Or is it only eternal when you have to sit through a Kansas City Royals-Seattle Mariners game in September. And if time really is eternal, is there even a point to me writing this blog? And if there isn't a point to me writing this, is there ever a point to me writing anything. (anonymous hate commenters, wink wink, nudge, nudge )
1. Because whether directly or indirectly, 17 years after its release, this song and much of KLF's influence can heard in 2008's most vital groups, from Gang Gang Dance to The Knux to Kanye West's Elegant Emo Extravaganza, to that god awful Wiz Khalifa song where he samples Alice DJ (there aren't enough "pauses" in the world to atone for that one.)