So, bear with us here. This week the news hit that a music video from Miley Cyrus would be turned into a full-blown feature film. Wait! Do leave us yet! You still reading? Ok, good. There's no way this could be a good movie, right? How desperate is the film industry that they're turning to music videos for creative inspiration. That being said... there are at least 50 videos that would make better movies than Cyrus' video (that we can't even bear to watch). So we got thinking of a 10 videos that could be made into full length movies:
10. Come to Daddy - Aphex Twin
Director Chris Cunningham helmed this terrifying vision of monsters invading a dreary U.K. housing complex. Cunningham created some futuristic and surreal worlds for Bjork, Autechre, and Portishead back in the 90's but has yet to make a feature film. If he does, let's hope it's a full length version of "Come to Daddy."
9. Willowz - Repetition
This video drops us in media res into a criminal's get away plan. The police officer awakes from a head trauma to realize that he's been thrown from his overturned cruiser, and his prisoner has gone on the lam. Will he catch him in the frigid Fargo-like landscape?
8. Space X, No Age, & Rodarte's Aanteni
In this music video/ short film directed by LA-based photographer Todd Cole, we tag along on a journey to the edge. With a score by L.A. noiseniks No Age, rockets by Inglewood's Space X and fashion by Pasadena based label Rodarte (who also made the costumes in Black Swan ), this when this evocative video ends, you're left begging for a sequel.
7. Rabbit in Headlights - Unkle
In this haunting video by acclaimed director Brian Grazer, we follow an obviously mentally disturbed man as he walks though a tunnel. He is repeated struck by cars, only to get up and trudge on, until he musters the strength to bring the video to a supernatural ending. As the director of visionary films like Sexy Beast and Birth, the video appears to be the first chapter in a superhero saga.
6. MmmHmm - Flying Lotus
This uber-psychedelic fever dream by directed by Special Problems and commissioned by Warp Films, opens the gateway to a parallel universe where exotic leaf ladies, spinning mandelbrulbs (RIP Benoit!), and 8-bit rabbit holes all coexist in perfect harmony. The floating specter of bassist Stephen "Thundercat" Bruner wearing a full head dress leads us through this fantastical world, which begs for further exploration.
5. Smack My Bitch Up - Prodigy
This ode to sex, drugs, and generalized debauchery by director Jonas Ackerlund follows a night in the party life. With stripclubs, nose candy, and street chunder, this vid just began to pique our interest. We want more, the night is still young. And... Spoiler alert! We haven't seen a gender bender this intense since Metroid!
4. Parents Just Don't Understand - DJ Jazzy Jeff & Fresh Prince
If you ask anyone who works in film, they will tell you that pretty much any movie you can imagine isn't only in development, it is in production. That's why we've seen shows based on Twitter feeds and bathroom wall scrawlings (we assume). But why hasn't any one snatched up what could be Will Smith's greatest narrative triumph? Ok. The Fresh Prince of Bell Air was basically an extension of this video, but imagine Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv on TV. A 3D Jazzy being thrown out the mansion?! Dreamworks, caaaallll me.
3. Yeasayer - Madder Red
Who knows how Yeasayer convinced Kristen Bell to join them for this video about a girl and her pet mutant, but we're glad that she signed on. This bizarre surburban tale directed by Swedish filmmaker Andreas Nilsson, is like American Beauty meets Mac and Me. If Mac wasn't a corporate sponsored alien, and just a Charlie White-styled blob.
2. Holy Fuck - Red Lights
Sure Holy Fuck isn't the first to capitalize on the cat meme in their video for Red Lights. But unlike Bjork who had a loving relationship with a gentleman cat or Hecuba's cat dancers, Holy Fuck takes a cat on a high speed chase part Death Proof, part Toonces the driving cat.
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And the Number One Music Video That Should Be Made Into a Full-Blown Movie is...
1. Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Full. Length. Sabotage. Movie. Can you fathom the awesomeness? The plot is completely irrelevant, we just want to see quick zooms, badly thrown punches, and all the faux-cop action of the original. Now that MCA has finally beaten his cancer (whew!), let's see the B-Boys get in on this action. Quentin Tarantino, Judd Apatow? Where you at?