Last week we ran down the world's corniest MC names, and on Haterade Monday this week we complained about the worst albums by the best L.A. rappers, as well as the most ridiculous Beach Boys songs (including one where Brian Wilson raps).
But it's time to bring the love back. It's what Heavy D would have wanted us to do. Here, then, are the best rapper names ever.
Rapper name: Big Daddy Kane
Location: New York City
Twitter followers: 18,372
Why this name is awesome: Juice Crew icon Big Daddy Kane's name invokes the best of the '70s blaxploitation era. It sounds slick and strong, like a particularly skilled pimp slap. As with other top rap handles, it also alludes to grandeur and superiority -- traits Kane possessed by the bucket load back in his golden era prime.
Rapper name: Del The Funky Homosapien
Location: The Bay Area
Twitter followers: Too busy playing video games to tweet.
Why this name is awesome: Del's real name is Teren Jones, which sounds like a '90s new jack swinger. But by invoking his middle name (Delvon) and adding a swagger-tastic description of what he is (a modern man of the funky variety), Del coined a classic MC name. The moniker's length also made it an attention grabber early on, which is important in a young rap career.
Rapper name: Busta Rhymes
Location: New York City
Twitter followers: 695,229
Why this name is awesome: According to rap lore, Busta's name was given to him by Public Enemy front man Chuck D. In part a pun on the NFL player George "Buster" Rhymes, but it also describes aptly what the rapper does, a sort of hip-hop onomatopoeia. At the very least it bests his government name: Trevor Smith.
Rapper name: Eazy-E
Location: Heaven via Compton
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Why this name is awesome: The rapper born Eric Wright was all about contrasts. Diminutive and burdened with a squeaky-pitched voice, he was nonetheless tough, and his rap name is the same way. Laid-back and breezy sounding, it also implies a force of nature within. Even better, it's pun-friendly; hence Eazy Duz It and "Eazy-er Said Than Done."
Rapper name: Ol' Dirty Bastard
Location: Sitting on God's couch next to baby Jesus
Why this name is awesome: ODB's rap name sounds self-deprecating, but really it's the opposite. After all, there is no father to his style, and the most disheveled member of the Wu-Tang Clan managed to make the moniker sound charming, even regal. (It was good for nicknames, too, such as Ol' Dirt Dog, which he once used to woo Mariah Carey.) Most importantly, the name doesn't seem like it should work, but it magnificently does -- just like the man's short but brilliant career.