Stay classy, KTLA
Stay classy, KTLA

Breaking News: Michael Jackson Is "Very Angry" About Own Tragic Death

Mediabistro is linking to an amazing scoop by KTLA's crack reporter Brandon Rudat, who apparently just managed to secure Michael Jackson's first post-mortem interview.

Channeling the spirit of the dead King of Pop through "world-renowned psychic" Vox (sp?), the always-tasteful local news outlet reported the following *EXCLUSIVE* nuggets of insight into this year's greatest tragedy:

* Michael Jackson loved his children

* he really loved to sing "We Are The World"

* he did not want to die tragically

* he's tormented about the tabloid pictures of his corpse (which the helpful folks at KTLA will repeatedly rebroadcast so that you know what MJ is so tormented about)

* he feels "emotional pain" and is "absolutely mortified" about the molestation allegations

* he absolutely does not want his children to be raised by their biological mother, who, according to the spectral singer, has "a lot of addictive personality problems." (Ed's note: neither West Coast Sound nor world-renowned psychic Vox wish to defame any person living or astral.)

* he does not like This Is It (too rehearsey) and does not wish you to go see it

Good job, KTLA. Stay classy.


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