L.A. Weekly
9 Most Useful Items in a Tornado
1 Scissors
2 Compass
3 Chair
4 Camera
5 Second, smaller tornado
6 Finnegans Wake
7 Endorphins
8 Bobbing-head ceramic
tchotchke
9 Soy milk
—Dave Shulman
Wasted in L.A.
How Much the
City Trashed
in 2003
Black (garbage):
786,316 tons
Green (yard waste):
415,440 tons
Blue (recycling):
225,128 tons
—Michael Hoinski
1 “ZZZzzzzzzzzzzrree.”
2 “Whooo! Whoo-whoo-whoo! Whoo! Whoo!”
3 “Tok.”
4 “Killy, killy, killy, killy.”
5 “Po-tato chip,” as well as “baybee.”
6 “Cheerily cheer-up cheerio.”
7 “Quack-quack-quack-quack-quack-quack.”
(The birds: 1. The Pine Siskin, 2. Great Horned Owl,
3. Common Raven, 4. American Kestrel, 5. American Goldfinch, 6. American Robin, 7. Mallard)
—Kate Wolf
no hesitation
fence racing from pole to pole
tumbling one will fall
diligent, frantic
all acorns must be buried
tamp tamp tamp tamp tamp
seven o’clock, roof
eleven o’clock, back yard
three o’clock, pine tree
—Bill Smith
Little Offense,
Lots of Calories
Food consumed atDodger Stadium this SEASON
• 2.2 million hot dogs
• 3 million ounces of peanuts
• 1.7 million sodas
• 300,000 burgers
• 275,000 French fries
• 100,000 bags of cotton candy
—Jon Alain Guzik
The Animals
• Number of dogs licensed in city of Los Angeles
(as of December 1): 240,163
• Estimated number of dogs — licensed and unlicensed —
in L.A.: 665,000
• Estimated number of cats and dogs microchipped
this year by L.A. city animal services: 17,630
• Projected number of animals (including dogs, cats, birds,
reptiles and small rodents) to have been euthanized
in 2003 by L.A. city animal services: 33,6000
—Kate Wolf
States Having More Registered Automobiles Than Los Angeles County (5.2 Million)
Pennsylvania (6.2 million)
Illinois (6.4 million)
Ohio (6.7 million)
New York (7.6 million)
Texas (7.7 million)
Florida (8.9 million)
California excluding L.A. (14.6 million)
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