Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get high until our teeth fall out.

If that sounds like your kind of party, then we have a story for you. U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials say they recently found methamphetamine embedded in a religious candle shipped from Mexico.

The candle, retrieved at an Ontario air cargo facility, was found in a package that also included a boy's suit, CPB officials said. Inspection agents were suspicious after determining that the candle found in the package, which had been mailed to Mills Spring, North Carolina, was “unusually heavy.”

“X-ray images revealed a false cavity containing a large cylinder-shaped object concealed within the candle,” the agency said in a statement. “The bottom of the candle was then carefully carved out, revealing a dark-blue cylinder-shaped object. With a small incision, officers extracted a white crystalized substance, which tested positive for crystal methamphetamine.”

Praise the Lord. It's party time.

The discovery was made on Aug. 3, but the CBP just announced the finding yesterday. It wasn't clear if anyone was arrested at the package's North Carolina destination.

The loaded candle was handed over to to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Homeland Security Investigations special agents, who opened an investigation.

“Our officers are very mindful of an individual’s property including spiritual items, yet they remain focused on keeping dangerous drugs off the streets of our community,” said Mitchell Merriam, the CBP's Los Angeles area port director.

Sure. The meth, 1.6 pounds worth, was valued at $23,000, feds said. We're sure the haul will make a huge dent in the U.S. drug supply.

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.