According to E! Online, tabloid staple Lindsay Lohan–these days best known for getting denied entry from both nightclubs and movie sets–is set to star in Inferno, a biopic of Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace.

I'll believe it when I see her swallow it.

Stories about Linda Lovelace movies are a dime a dozen — every couple of years a new version of the film is announced, built around a different female star (Anna Faris! Courtney Love!?!), but cameras have yet to roll on any of the,. Are we really to believe that the attachment of Lohan, most recently starring in headlines including the phrase “death watch,” is the magic missing ingredient that's gonna finally get this shit off the ground? Especially when there's a dueling Lovelace biopic also reportedly in the works?

To give the story the benefit of the doubt: Inferno would certainly give Lohan the kind of meaty body-and-soul baring role that a fallen starlet looking for a comeback could only dream of. And the E! story claims the film's producers plan to officially announce the project this month at Cannes, which sounds like a reasonably plausible attempt to secure foreign financing on the back of an American name. Let's hope, for Lindsay's sake, that her “unbankable” branding gets lost in a cloud of ash somewhere between here and the Croisette.

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.