Updated after the jump: Predictably, this has gotten way out of control. Betty Ford staffer and Lohan duke it out on TMZ. Originally posted Dec. 21 at 1:20 p.m.

Since we happen to have an entire category on this here news blog for all things Lohanian, we might as well indulge in a little LiLo gossip for a rainy day, via the Betty Ford Center rehab facility.

OK. So apparently, when you're at Betty Ford (and you're Lindsay Lohan), you're still allowed to go out with your friends all night and stumble in the front door feeling, erm, silly in the wee hours.

Silly enough to get so belligerent that a Betty Ford professional wants to take your ass right back to court where you came from.

TMZ reports (but of course they do) that Lohan maybe isn't taking her rehabilitation as seriously as she promised, tear-stained and stuffy-nosed, in court last month.

The Palm Desert Police Department is now investigating an altercation that occurred after Lindsay and her roommates reportedly went to a bar and came back home. Upon arriving at the house, the incident with a female staffer from Betty Ford allegedly went down.

The police received a call at 1:03 AM on December 12 for “hand-to-hand battery.”

Battery? Eh. To be expected. [If you do go to jail, here are some time-tested tips, girl.] The part that stands out to us is that Lohan was allowed to go to a bar with her friends and come home at 1 a.m. In our experience, probation and bars usually don't get along so well; and let's just say probation isn't usually the one to emerge victorious.

Indeed — TMZ confirms that she's been getting back into the hard stuff. So, Betty Ford, what're you going to do about it?

Anyway, in response to the battery charges, Lindsey to staffer: Oh no you didn't.

Sources connected with Lindsay tell us Lindsay is adamant … the staffer whom she pushed earlier this month was the instigator, berating Lindsay and grabbing her before LiLo pushed her. … Lindsay wants Betty Ford to take action against the staffer … stat.

What will become of L.A.'s troubled young princess? And who gives a crap?

Update: There's been like five more TMZ pieces about this outrageous fluff piece. Here's the staffer's full report of the “attack.” According to the Associated Press,

Although Betty Ford and the sheriff's department did not identify the worker, she appeared in an interview on celebrity website TMZ on Tuesday afternoon and was promptly fired. She claims the 24-year-old Lohan and two other girls had sneaked out of the facility.

In the video, Dawn Holland claims she was trying to get Lohan to submit to a breathalyzer test when the actress became belligerent, pushed her and snatched a phone from her hand, straining her arm.

No offense Dawn, but we pulled the “strained arm” thing enough times in elementary school to know that your case is all but thrown out.

If y'all are somehow still intrigued, here's the entire TMZ battery series:

“Party at Lindsay Lohan's … And Betty Ford Is Ticked”

“Lindsay Lohan — Suspect In Criminal Battery Case”

“Lindsay Lohan — One Step Closer To Jail”

“Lindsay Lohan to Betty Ford: Fire that B**ch!”

“Lohan 'Victim': Lindsay Was Violent, Drinking”

“Lindsay Lohan Incident Report: Blow-By-Blow”

“Lindsay Lohan: I'm The Victim!!!”

“Lindsay Lohan — The Chick Touched Me First”

“Fired Betty Ford Worker's Lawyer: BF Is Immoral!”

Holy mother of god. Did we really just spend time on that? Must be this psychotic weather…

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