It's unavoidable: This weekend marks the loudly and terrifyingly touted CARMAGEDDON in Los Angeles. The 405 freeway will be shut down, and chaos will ensue on surrounding freeways and streets as everyone adjusts. As we've mentioned, we're skeptical this will really be that big a deal, but for those who just can't stay in so it actually won't be, we've tried to provide club picks this week that'll rage (not road rage!) all over town. Keep close to home or just go to Hollywood, which is always such a jammed mess you won't know the difference anyway.

Fri., July 15

West-sider alert! The people behind Car-magedoon.com and Wokcano offer an Official Car-mageddon Kick-Off Party! featuring drink specials ($3.00 “Flat Tire” Beers, $5.00 “Traffic Jam” Shots and $7.00 “Car” Jack & Cokes), a live Twitter feed station, branded t-shirts and DJ Hapa spinning dance faves. Guests are encouraged to dress in appropriate attire (construction hats, street signs) for prizes. 1413 5th St., Santa Monica. www.Car-Mageddon.com

After a much buzzed recent appearance at CYP2, Drop The Lime is back and rarin' to refresh the Hollywood warrior scene on the decks this time, at Control. The NYC-based artist's rockabilly-meets-big beat dance boogie is sizzling all over the country, and he's sure to make this appearance “Hot As Hell” (also the name of the latest single). Also with Cold Blank and Mr. White. At Avalon, 1735 Vine St., Hlywd. www.avalonhollywood.com

Some Angelenos may be opting to get outta town this weekend, but if you can't, there's still Departure, a trip of another sort, taking place on the dance floor at Vanguard. And the DJ this week sure knows how to transport clubbers: Mark Farina (Om Records, Mushroom Jazz, Great Lakes), one of the founding fathers of House music. Adam Auburn along with Wobs & Nonfiction spin before. 6021 Hollywood Blvd. www.vanguardla.com

Sat., July 16

Picking up friends at LAX this weekend may indeed be the single most heinous task imaginable. (Look at this way, they OWE you big time.) Have 'em re-pay ya in drinks at the nearby Custom Hotel. Afternoon Delight debuts there today after all, and there's free popsicles all day long, not to mention popping sounds by DJs Roy Davis Jr., Adam Auburn, West Coast Collective, Zack Hill and Steven Dimitri, and more. 1 p.m. 8639 Lincoln Blvd. www.tinyurl.com/afternoondelightla

School's out for summer, but not not for Suicide Girls. The sexy site's monthly soiree Club Suicide offers a “Summer School” party this week, which means the usual plaid mini skirts minus knee socks (maybe). What you can expect: punky go-go girls straight from the website and DJs Steven Andrew, Slash Fiction, Johnny Jewel and Johnny Bonnett spinning indie, electro, 80s, alternative, mashups/remixes and more. Free entry before 11 p.m. in a naughty schoolgirl uniform. 3100 Wilshire Blvd. www.ClubSuicide.net

Platinum, Outfest's signature showcase dedicated to boundary-pushing film, video, performance and multi-media is 10 years old, and the provocateurs behind it, along with Lez at the Mezz and Mustache Mondays, plan to celebrate like only they can. Night Moves, will be a hodge podge of performance, installation and dance floor revelry (DJs Automation and Kim Ahn man the decks). Platinum curated amusements from The Ladyboys of Sweaty Sundays (choreographed by Ryan Heffington), Vagina Wolf and Perms, Pigs in the Parlour, Triple X, Crafternoon and many more. At The Mezz (The Alexandria Hotel 2nd Floor)501 S. Spring St., dwntwn. Info here.

Sun., July 17

STAY HOME, FOOLS!

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