No time of the year sees more segregation — contention, even — among music lovers than Coachella weekend. If you're going, it's all you can talk about. If you're not, you probably don't wanna hear it.

There's no need to be a hater, though. For the “unfortunate” souls who will be stuck in L.A. all weekend, remember: 1) There's plenty of fun stuff to do right here in town (Hello? Prince?). 2) Many “surprise, unannounced” guests tend to pop up in L.A. after the fest, and unlike those who trudged the desert sludge, you'll be rested and refreshed when you seek them out. 3) If you stay away from Twitter and Facebook, you really won't know what you're missing (or have to endure all those bragging, obnoxious “so and so is killing it!” posts).

Do, however, read West Coast Sound on laweekly.com and follow @laweeklymusic on Twitter for up-to-the-minute reporting from the field [Ed.'s note: If our writers get reception — damn you, AT&T!], plus an off-site Coachella party report from moi!

Fri., April 15

Dough dropped on desert fest or no, this week we're in the same boat in one way: It's “mind on my money and money on my mind” time, aka IRS deadline day. [Ed.'s note: You actually have until Monday, April 18, to file, thanks to today being a D.C. holiday.] The wacky party peeps behind Wig Out! have chosen to celebrate this downer with an upper event that “romanticizes” the process. “Get Your New Romantax On” will celebrate the sexy colored hair and synthy music goodness of Adam Ant, Duran Duran, et al., with a long list of dramatic performers and DJ Jason Savy spinning the best of the genre. 3 Clubs, 1123 Vine St., Hlywd.; $8 with wig, $10 without; jeanspinosa.com/wigout.

Goth schlockers and villainous vamps will fly into Batcave, which marks its second anniversary with a return to where the party began, Medusa Lounge. Dress up as your favorite evil character for the “Villains Ball” and dance to darkwave and industrial from DJs Scott Savak, Michael Ciravolo, Skum, Robo and Jermz. 3211 Beverly Blvd., L.A.; batcaveclub.com.

Sat.-Sun., April 16-17

The Standard Downtown appears to be the HQ this weekend for anti- (or shall we say alternative) Coachella revelry.

Sat.: Incognito presents Drenched-ella, featuring Dutch dance music fave Julien Chaptal's first L.A. DJ gig. The “new skool techno” head is joined by local heroes Franco Benito, Joe Bickle, Ram Sampath and Mr. Jeckle & Dr. Hyde. RSVP at iluvincognito.eventbrite.com.

Sun.: Disco Dive is billed as a “party for those not hitting the desert,” so don't expect to stay dry at this one. Free pool toys and gifts, interactive art and sounds from NYCPartyInfo, Beat Ventriloquists, Ed Gold, Jas James and others. RSVP here: tinyurl.com/discodiversvp.

Both above at the Standard Downtown L.A. Rooftop, 550 S. Flower St., 1-8 p.m.

Mon., April 18

How do you say dee-licious, dee-lovely, dee-lectable, dee-vine? It was and will always be Dee-lite's Lady Miss Kier, of course. NYC's original dance-pop “Lady” (Let's call it: Gaga owes as much to her as Madonna) may not be fronting pop groups anymore, but she's still a deck diva. Hearing her spin at Mustache Mondays' big new venue (and on the big new sound system) is sure to make this clique groove in ways you don't want to miss. Belasco Theatre, 1050 S. Hill St., dwntwn.; twitter.com/#!/mustachemondays.

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.