[Local beatmaster (and Low End Theory mainstay) Daedelus has just released a surprisingly chipper (and even dancey!) album called Bespoke. Everyone wants to talk about the DJ's fascination with dapper, quasi-steampunk outfits (thus the album title), but we remember he came out of the closet not so long ago as a role-playing-game fanatic. D&D people — they're just like us (but with weirder dice)! He graciously agreed to provide Page Two with some life wisdom he learned from his parallel life as a dungeon dweller.]

  • Always carry rations. Many a cruel game master would kill an adventuring party simply because no one thought of packing food for a big dungeon crawl. Call it vicious, but it's very true in life, so why not in Raven Loft?

More life-changing advice from Daedelus:

  • Be a team player. No band of mutants need only be four superstrong tank types, just like no party should only be fighters. It's vanilla, it's boring. Suck it up and play a cleric every once in a while. It builds character/saves life points.
  • Anger not the gods. OK, so the Dungeon Master is throwing the same group of lame imps in for more punishment. Don't lash out, because next time he'll spite you with a Beholder if you complain. Be cool, dispatch quickly, move on, buy the DM some Jolt Cola and get ready for caffeine-addled monologuing!
  • Know thyself as not a power gamer. Just because you can crunch numbers to have ultimate powers with minimal quirks or disadvantages doesn't mean it should be right. It never (role)plays to be indestructible; have some vulnerability. People (and your DM) will love you for it.
  • If you find yourself with three wishes don't try to trick the Djinn, hold on to them for a second; they'll come in handy when the evil emperor's foolproof deception is revealed and the kingdom is crumbling before your eyes. Save the princess and build a fortress together, or get some animal familiars, or whatever weird stuff you do.

Daedelus' Bespoke, out on Ninja Tunes. Details here.

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