The LAPD continues to claim historic lows in reported crime throughout Los Angeles, but there's at least one exception:

See also: Hipster Burglary Spree in Echo Park, Silver Lake.

Property crime in the department's Northeast Division area, which covers such young and fashionable communities as Silver Lake, Atwater Village and Echo Park. Burglary and other theft, including car break-ins, are up 3 and 4 percent since 2011, according to LAPD statistics.

Cops are fighting back by using a tool area hipsters can understand — video:

Yes, the department has produced this strange yet riveting video about how not to get your stuff taken. The video is trying so hard to be cool that it even includes a classic tune (“Funk Phenomena”) by DJ Armand Van Helden, a regular performer at HARD festival events.

So listen up, kids.

The main idea here is clearly to stop people from keeping such hipster valuables as iPads, iPhones and designer purses — a Coach bag is mentioned here — in plain view in parked cars, which often are also unlocked.

It happens. A lot.

LAPD Capt. Jeffrey Bert says on the video that about 400 cars are burglarized each week in the city of Los Angeles. Nearly one-third of those crimes could be prevented with the high-tech defensive move of actually locking your car, he says.

Really.

Many other vehicle break-ins could be thwarted if you just hide your stuff. “If you're a pirate: your bag of jewels — tuck that stuff away,” the captain says.

The video follows the story of a couple whose baby is stolen by zombies. The baby, of course, is an iPad. The zombies are arrested by responding cops, and the little one is returned to the waiting hands of its emotional papa.

“Lock your stuff, hide your stuff,” Bert says, “and you're going to keep your stuff.”

Basic.

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