Dennis RomeroAh, yes: Another day, another report stating we have the worst traffic in the nation (via LAist).
Sure, well let you blame the Mexicans, but only if we can also blame the Koreans and the Jews. But seriously, you know what really pisses us off? Cops will, without fail, target an aggressive (and safe) driver before taking out an old lady who ties up traffic with idiotic, wide turns and impossible boulevard crossings.
You want to do us a favor, LAPD? Focus on those impede traffic, not those who are just trying to use the right of way. Like these folks:
Slow-and-fast man. I'm going to cruise like Cheech & Chong looking at girls on the sidewalk. But if you try to pass me, I'll speed up so you can't. So there..
Credit: zangezur
Must-make-that-left-turn-at-all-costs lady. This is the woman who crosses over three lanes of same-way traffic to make her last-minute left turn while blocking fellow motorists. (You couldn't ease off, save us all a little stress, and just go around a block or two? No? Oh.).
Credit: Eleventh Earl of Mar
“What turn lane?” girl: She's headed off the path and onto a different street, but don't let that stop you. Or rather do, because while there's a wide open lane to the right — big enough for a big-rig — you'll have to pause while she makes her move from the middle lane, nice and swoopy-like. If you honk, she'll glower at you. Just grin and curtsy. (And let's just make it clear, L.A. people. See that lane to the right? We know it's used for parking, but during traffic hour along our big boulevards, it's a full on lane. Please use it when you're making a right turn. Please.).
Credit: Joe Littrell
Outta-my-way guy. He's guy who must bust into traffic from a perpendicular street ASAP, lest you get the stink eye and maybe the finger. Stop sign be damned, he's coming into your view like a bogey in a video game. Even though you have the right-of-way and no stop signal for miles, it's your obligation to make way for this momentous man. Look out! (Would he wait in line for an opening? That would be blasphemous).
Credit: satguru
Last but not least: Traffic, what traffic? Can't you see I'm on the phone!?
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