Boston mob boss James “Whitey” Bulger, arrested yesterday after 16 years on the run, should have known he'd stand out like a sore thumb at the Princess Eugenia — a peaceful apartment complex on Third Street, where Santa Monica retirees have nothing better to do than stick their noses into neighbors' beeswax.

Under the names Charles and Carol Gasko (adorable!), the couple attempted to keep up the appearance of your average 70- to 80-year-old Westsiders…

… so as not to spend their golden years behind bars.

But interviews with residents who lived side-by-side with the FBI's No. 1 Most Wanted criminal now reveal the East Coast kingpin to have been somewhat of a giant loser in the hood.

Third-floor resident Barbara Gluck tells the Associated Press that — although Bulger's girlfriend and partner in crime, Catherine Greig, was “sweet and lovely” — Bulger would become very angry if he ever caught them engaging in “girl talk,” and would say, “Stop talking to her.”

Gluck calls the master FBI evader, wanted for 19 counts of murder, “nasty.” She says she thinks he has a “rage issue.”

Renters beware of the misfits on the third floor.; Credit: Google Maps

Renters beware of the misfits on the third floor.; Credit: Google Maps

What a meanie, right? (The kind of guy who could shoot a man between the eyes and never look back, even.) Everyone who's anyone knows retired Santa Monica life is nothing without girl talk. It also hinges heavily on the relationship one forms with the yappety dogs next door — something which Bulger and Greig never really got the hang of, Third Street resident Robert Goldman tells the Los Angeles Times.

According to the Times, “the owner of a cocker spaniel and a Chihuahua mix… said unlike many in the area, Bulger and Catherine Greig never asked to pet his dogs.”

Big no-no.

For someone who FBI officials call the “criminal version of Elvis,” ol' Whitey had a lot to learn about the Santa Monica coastline, a place yuppies go to gossip/grow old/pet pets. “They sort of kept to themselves,” says Goldman. (Perhaps having something to do with the “substantial cash and a variety of weapons” stashed in their unassuming two-bedroom?)

Anyway, someone in the area apparently snitched, because the feds set up shop outside Bulger's apartment Tuesday evening, and had arrested him and Greig by the next night. (They'll be in L.A. federal court at 2 p.m. today.) And in the end, their capture could definitely have had to do with Greig's need for normative girliness; agents were reportedly watching out for her at salons and plastic-surgery offices.

For the full story, see “James 'Whitey' Bulger, Boston Mob Boss From 'The Departed,' Arrested in Santa Monica at 81.”

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]

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