In L.A. we have lots to be prepared for — earthquakes, super storms, bed bugs, a recently freed Lindsay Lohan.

But are you ready for a … doggy emergency? That's right Angelenos, get your priorities straight. Pets are people too. The Feb. 5 event at the Zoom Zoom Room (known for its all-important “doggy disco” classes) will explore the finer points of pooch safety.

And so next month “dog safety author” Melanie Monteiro will be teaching you how to keep Fido out of harm's way, including:

Dog CPR

Canine Heimlich

Basic First Aid Skills

How to Put Together a First Aid Kit

How to Prevent the Most Common Dog Accidents

Basic Rules of Preparedness

Travel Safety

There's a canine Heimlich maneuver? Since when did dogs and people switch places? Weren't dogs supposed to come to our rescue with a barrel of liquor around the their necks?

The canine safety session happens from 3:30 to 6 p.m. Feb. 5 and unlike you're neighbor's pit bull it's not free. It'll cost ya $30. This free advertising? Priceless.

[Info].

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