Avid AfterDarkLA reader Jenn Ramsey (@sextoyjenn) had to offer her two cents, as she and I both know the real way to get into a pornstar's Rolodex. (And possibly between her sheets/legs if you're really good.)

Well boys (ahem — Brennan Foley), I don't know which porn stars are using you for drugs (at least you're getting laid…I hope), but the ones in my speed dial wouldn't get hot over free coke. They'd give you the cold shoulder or ask if you're a cop.

Here's some real tips to get real hot play from real hot players:

  • Compliment her on something not porn-related (i.e. her tits or ass). If you're on a porn set, tell her that her shoes are FABULOUS but you know she's in pain for wearing them. And thanking her for taking one for the team does wonders.
  • Don't treat her like a sex object. The fastest way into a porn star's (or any hot chick's or dude's) pants is to convince her you think she's smart, funny, creative and/or anything more than just an object. Even if she is your next “meal.”
  • Invite her to an event that's not even remotely sexual. Guess who got laid after the Grilled Cheese Invitational by a porn star? This girl.

    • [EDITOR'S NOTE: Um hi, next story assignment.]

  • Offer to help her build her brand. The best way to get her number (and ability to contact her ever) is to have a reason to call. Offer to shoot still photos, fix her blog, set up her Twitter account. (Though try not to say it like, “Hey babe, wanna let me pimp out yo' social media presence?” Which reminds me…)
  • Don't act like a pimp. Pimps only bag hos on TV. Treat her like a rock star instead of a porn star, and you'll get laid like one.
  • She's off duty, so don't try and put her to work. Just because her tag line is “I can swallow 15 inches and smile,” doesn't mean they want to practice on your five. And don't offer to be her test dummy or practice penis, because she's *never* heard that one.

    • Jessica Drake

    Jessica Drake

  • Commiserate with her about faulty stereotypes regarding STDs: “I can't believe everyone thinks porn stars are a cesspool of herpes. Don't they know about AIM Healthcare?” Anyone who's worth fucking knows that the porn star pool is the safest to play in…these performers get tested every 28 days, and their tests are accurate within three days of contact. Do you think the random girl you're picking up in a bar can say that?
  • Convince her you are looking at her as more than just a piece of ass: “I can't believe some men (that have probably never fucked a porn star) think that all porn stars are a hot mess, wild, crazy and not particularly bright.” Tell her she may be wild and crazy on camera, but you're sure she's smart and calculated behind the scenes. A good insider-esque comment would be, “Ha, I bet Sasha Gray, Jessica Drake or Joanna Angel is laughing about that stereotype all the way to the bank.”
  • Don't go straight for the gold. Seduce her with light touches and tantalizing kissing. She can be treated like a piece of ass any day of the week and make good money doing so. Show her you're worth playing with for free. Making her yearn for your talents can earn you not just second date, but fuck-buddy status that could last for years.
  • Respect her privacy. Men who meet porn stars in public and are seen high-fiving their buddies by the bathroom before they even seal the deal — won't.

Good luck, boys. You too can fuck a porn star…but only if you deserve it. And remember, many of the stars you are trying to bang live very public lives. Fuck them over and they'll fuck you up — via Twitter, blog or even on video.

You've been warned.

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