Beloved inventor of gelatin-based desserts and the modern sweater, Dr. William H. Cosby, former naval hospital corpsman and 2002 recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, brings his Emmy- Grammy- Golden Globe–winning, multigenerationally iconic, witty, warm, profanity-free yet insightful, prolific, paternal, best-selling “Bill Cosby” persona to the Cerritos Center for the Performing Arts stage for two big special shows, neither of which you will attend because ticket prices start at $45 and go up to $90. For that much (plus gas to Cerritos and back) you can buy used copies of all of his popular books and popular standup performance CDs — Wonderfulness, I Started Out as a Child and Why Is There Air? are required listening — and every popular episode of his two popular television series, The Bill Cosby Show (1969-1971) and The Cosby Show (1984-1992), and feel confident that Mr. Cosby will not suffer significant financial or emotional trauma from your absence. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could actually all afford to go? Maybe we can borrow some money from . . . Bill Cosby.

Sun., Sept. 27, 3 & 7 p.m., 2009

LA Weekly