Are you a really good writer? Do you like music? Do you live in LA? If you answered “Yes!” then both you and we are in luck, because we're looking for new writers for West Coast Sound, the LA Weekly's award-winning music blog (we think, we probably won some award at some point somewhere).

WCS gigs often lead to extremely lucrative print assignments for the paper-bound LA Weekly. (Just in case: we're joking. Writing is never lucrative. Unless you're Dan Brown or that 'Twilight' lady. As a matter of fact, if you're reading this and you're Dan Brown or that 'Twilight' lady, feel free to apply as well. We need fresh voices.)

Anyways. If you want to apply to write for us, please read the following instructions. Yes, we know many of you are punk as hell and don't need no stinkin' rules, but you know what? Writers who cannot read and follow a simple set of instructions make the editor's life really, really difficult and you wouldn't like us when we're cranky.

Keep reading.

To apply to write about music for West Coast Sound and the LA Weekly:

1) Send an email with the subject line: “HELP WANTED: [your name here],” except don't put it between the quotation marks and write your actual name or writing pseudonym instead of [your name here].

2) Send it to gustavolaweekly@gmail.com

3) In the body of the email (DO NOT SEND ANY ATTACHMENTS), please answer the following questions:

a) What is your name and/or writing pseudonym?

b) What is the best email to reach you?

c) Go over West Coast Sound, the LA Weekly music blog, from January 1st, 2010 until today. Which entry did you love? Why?

d) Which entry did you hate? Why? (be 100% sincere)

e) What was your favorite LA show attended between January 1st, 2009 and today? Why?

f) Write a sample blog entry for WCS about one of the following subjects, with an LA connection, preferably something happening in the next few weeks (you may want to pick up the paper LA Weekly and go over events and ads to figure out what's coming):

– Mainstream hip hop

– Comedy music/novelty

– Musicals

– Death and/or Black Metal (i.e., any recent metal with dark covers and bands whose logos are hard to read)

– Mainstream pop (pick this only if you're an exceptionally gifted writer)

– Classical Music

– Musica que le gusta a abuelita

– Contemporary blues

– Soundtrack composers

– Country music from California

Write IN YOUR OWN STYLE (the best version of it). Do not imitate our current writers. (obviously, we already have writers who write like that). We're looking for fresh LA voices from a variety of backgrounds.

4) THIS IS IMPORTANT: Do not add any other information to the email. Just submit your answers to the questions above. Any email with extraneous information (e.g., “Hi! Love the blog! I'm Andy and I'm the next Lester Bangs,” etc) will not be considered and will be banished to our hellish junk mailbox for all eternity.

5) Don't call us or email us about the application. We'll contact you through the email you provided in the second question with further instructions or comments.

Yes?

Ok–enough procrastination. Get to it. Deadline is yesterday.

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