How Gloria Allred has avoided the walking, talking sexual-harassment case that is Arnold Schwarzenegger up until now is a mystery.

Allred is the poker face of sex law; as her clients blubber, she quietly exterminates old-fashioned misogynist practices in the workplace, one overattractive employee at a time. She's the power-coifed, boner-killing nightmare of high-profile men everywhere who can't seem keep their grubby little fingers to their own cubicles.

So it was only a matter of time before Allred met the Terminator — her ultimate challenger in a long line of entitled-perv adversaries.

RadarOnline reported last night that 52-year-old Gigi Goyette-Jeffers — a former child star (OK, “star” is a bit of a stretch) who was paid $20,000 in August 2003 by tabloid mogul American Media not to announce her alleged affair with Schwarzenegger — has hired Allred to represent her in court.

The L.A. superlawyer will only say in an e-mail to the Associated Press: “I can confirm that I do represent Gigi Goyette. We have no comment at this time and we will also have no comment tomorrow.”

Maria Shriver's pick for her divorce attorney — Laura Wasser — is another high-profile lawyerette to the stars, having handled such splits as Mel Gibson and Robyn Moore and Frank and Karen Caulfield.

The inimitable Gloria Allred

The inimitable Gloria Allred

Hot damn. The courtrooms of Los Angeles are about to stage a larger-than-life soap opera watched round the world. At least now some of the bad-Arnold attention will be re-directed from his poor 14-year-old Guastrian likeness.

The Los Angeles Times speculated in 2005 that American Media had some tie to Schwarzenegger, and had paid Goyette to keep quiet during his campaign for California governor. (Not that revealing the Hollywood neanderthal's history of sexual deviance could have had any effect on the election's outcome — or Maria's state of denial — as we learned from Gropegate. Sigh.)

But Goyette isn't keeping quiet anymore. “There were so many other women,” she told the tabloids just after the Schwarzenegger-Shriver split was announced, but just before his love child with the housekeeper was revealed. “About 13 have come out of the woodwork.”

Via the Daily Mail:

Gigi claims that she slept with the star once in that year but did not see him again until 1989, during which year they began their alleged fling – three years after Schwarzenegger married Shriver, 55.

But Gigi told the Daily Mirror: 'I don't think I had anything to do with the break-up of his marriage.'

Goyette, who is now an estate agent in Malibu, told the tabloid: “Maria Shriver is a Kennedy so I think that, like a good Kennedy, she decided to ignore what was happening.”

Well put. Looks like we're in for a feisty trial (or two), whatever Goyette's accusation.

Among the most disturbing details of her alleged affair with Arnold come from Star, meaning they may or may not be legit. But given the governator's close proximity to his wife during the affair with Mildred Baena, this wouldn't surprise us:

“One night Arnold, 63, had sex with Gigi in her hotel room while Maria was in another room on the same floor. When the action star was done with Gigi, he went back to his room with Maria.”

Go get 'em, Gloria.

[@simone_electra/swilson@laweekly.com]

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