The Annual Consumer Electronics Show is taking place this week in Las Vegas, and as usual there's a lot of buzz around the size-du-jour of the screen-type-device we'll all be utterly dependent upon soon (apparently 2013 will be the year of the phablet. No, really).

But there's also some fun food news coming out of the conference, the most talked-about probably being a vibrating fork. Dual action for food fetishists, you ask? Sadly, no. Rather, this thing dings and buzzes if you're eating too fast.

The Hapifork monitors your eating habits and alerts you when you're eating too fast, which is bad human behavior that desperately needs to be regulated by robot forks. According to the website, Hapifork also measures:

• How long it took to eat your meal.

• The amount of “fork servings” taken per minute.

• Intervals between “fork servings”.

It will cost $99.99, but I'll rent you my grandma to come over and yell “SLOW DOWN, YOU TRYING TO WIN A GLUTTON RACE OR SOMETHIN!?” for far less than that.

The other food news out of the CES is a really, really fancy refrigerator. There have already been fancy refrigerators, and no one has bought them. But that's because we're poor and stupid — one day we will succumb and all have fridges that tell us what to buy and what to eat and what to throw away. The new model this year is the Samsung T9000, which has an LCD touch screen and integrates Evernote into its Linux-based operating system. It also has a compartment that can transition from refrigerator to freezer. Samsung isn't saying how much the fancy new version will cost, but the touchscreen-less version costs $4,000.

Samsung is also releasing a couple of “cooking solutions” appliances with functions that are a little hard to explain but use words like “Steamquick technology.” For instance, the Samsung NE58F9710SR is a “slide in range with oven cavity” that's really cool in some way I think and maybe allows you to cook two things in one oven at two different temperatures?

So, fear not. You will soon not have to think about self control while eating because your fork will do it for you, not have to think about shopping lists because your fridge will do it for you, and not have to worry about … something while cooking because your … slide in range? will be extremely awesome. Hooray!!


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