You know guys, there's no such thing as generic Viagra. And “herbal” Viagra? That's just shite.

Shysters out there are taking advantage of the fact that you're too chicken to go to a doctor for 10 minutes and explain that you have boner problems (or that you're a porn star).

So they sell some fake blue pills on Craigslist that lighten your wallet and do absolutely nothing for your, uh, stamina:

This week U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement announced that two guys were in hot water in connection with fake Viagra.

In case number one a man named Barry Ronnel Johnson (yeah, really — B. Johnson) pleaded guilty this week after they busted him selling fake Viagra on CL.

If these give you a boner, you're faking it.; Credit: ICE

If these give you a boner, you're faking it.; Credit: ICE

According to a plea agreement sent to us by the kind folks at ICE, the 38-year-old admitted to trafficking and importing counterfeit Viagra, which could bring a maximum of 10 years behind bars (but probably won't because he made the deal).

ICE agents intercepted a package headed to his home from LAX one year ago: It contained 1,700 fake pills.

Agents then discovered him trying to sell the stuff on Craigslist, and he peddled 30 of the no-boner fakes to an undercover agent.

Now, here's a thought. If you're a big-time player in the world of fake crap: 1) Why would you have to fly pills into LAX? Can't you get sugar pills anywhere? And 2) Why in the world would you have them shipped to your own home?

Anywho, Johnson has yet to be sentenced. We hope there's no “special enhancement” for stupidity.

In case numero dos, the same people, ICE, announced that a former Korean law officer was busted trying to smuggle nearly 40,000 fake boner pills … into LAX via a golf bag.

(Again people, fake is fake. Just paint some aspirin blue. Is America really that bad at making shit that we can't even construct fake blue pills?)

This bust happened Feb. 25, according to an affidavit sent to the Weekly.

Kil Jun Lee, 71, is the geezerly suspect nabbed by federal agents in this particular caper. He told agents he was a 20-year veteran of Korean law enforcement before he came stateside and worked as a bandit taxi driver and security guard.

This guy was a little more sophisticated and went beyond fake Viagra, feds allege in the document:

The CBP Officers discovered an estimated 39,613 pills concealed in aluminum foil/Mylar-type wrapped packages found inside of LEE's checked luggage and carry-on bag. LEE was carrying a total of 29,827 suspected counterfeit Viagra pills, 8,993 suspected counterfeit Cialis pills, and 793 suspected counterfeit Levitra pills.

ICE officials say the pills are worth more than $700,000. (Gosh, $700,000 worth of disappointment. What a racket.)

Lee was scheduled to be arraigned soon.

[@dennisjromero / djromero@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

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