Why are we all so obsessed with Ted Williams, Ohio bum turned hottest item on the vocal-chord market since Justin Bieber?

Unlike the Biebs, we're thinking his long, flowing (dread)locks couldn't have much to do with it.

But the two YouTube stars do have one very essential thing in common: a classic rags-to-riches story. We're absolute suckers for 'em. And no one likes rags-to-riches stories more than Dr. Phil McGraw (except for maybe Oprah, and she was hot on Williams' trail, like, days ago).

RadarOnline reported this morning that after Williams taped a stint on the “doctor's” show last night — scheduled to air tomorrow — he agreed to start attending rehab in Los Angeles.

Straight from the source:

Although Williams, 53, had insisted that he was sober for at least two years, in a television interview he admitted to Dr. Phil that was not the case.

According to a spokesperson for The Dr. Phil Show, Williams decided to enter a rehabilitation treatment facility for his alcohol and drug dependency.

The man with the golden voice agreed to go to a private facility following a lengthy one-on-one conversation with Dr. Phil which will air Thursday, January 13.

According to the dozens of celebrity blogs who have picked up the rehab story, the drunk ex-transient's ex-wife Patricia is partly behind this, too: She's set to appear on “Dr. Phil” to discuss Williams' continued struggle with alcocholism. Apparently, he's still milking a flask on the daily.

Patricia's got be be deriving so much pleasure from this — you know, after raising the dude's children for 23 years while he stood on a street corner doing radio-announcer impressions.

Of course, this wouldn't be Dr. Phil without a stock healer's speech:

“If Ted is ever going to get better, he's got to be honest with himself and admit he's addicted to drugs and alcohol. I've told him it's not going to be easy and it's going to take a lot of hard work. It might be a long journey for him, but this is a big step in the right direction.”

Boy, aren't we glad Williams' talk-show appearances led him to L.A. this week. First there was the Hollywood hotel fight with his daughter, and now freaking rehab in the same city as Lindsay Lohan, queen of the rehabilitated? He's the fattest gift to SoCal media hounds since, well, Justin Bieber made out with that chick in Venice and Lohan moved in next door. And now that Williams is the biggest thing in royally fucked-up famous people, it looks like he might be here to stay.

Let's just hope he doesn't combine the alcohol with the hand-to-hand battery like the queen herself, or he'll have a golden lawsuit on his hands before he can get the “You know you love it” line just right:

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.