YOUR FRIEND

I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbos, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death …

YOU

Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.

YOUR FRIEND

What the fuck are you talkin' about?

YOU

Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic…

YOUR FRIEND

What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married

Cynthia! Come on, Dude!

YOU

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah …

YOUR FRIEND

And you know this!

YOU

Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.

YOUR FRIEND

So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?

YOU

It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.

YOUR FRIEND

Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax

YOU

You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!

If you've ever reenacted the previous scene with your special buddy, then you already have your tickets to Lebowski Fest L.A. 2010. You know that Day 1 is the Movie Party, with a Creedence cover band and such special guests as Jack Kehler (Dude's Landlord), Philip Moon (Woo The Carpet Pisser), Jim Hoosier (Liam), Peter Exline (inspiration for the story), Andrea Nunn (Julianne Moore's stand-in for the carpet-flying scene) , followed by a screening of the film. Day 2 is the Bowling Party, with costume, trivia and other contests, plus an appearance by Hoosier. Day 1: The Wiltern, 3790 Wilshire Blvd.; Fri., April 2, 8:30 p.m.; $19.99. Day 2: Cal Bowl, 2500 Carson St., Lakewood; Sat., April 3, 9 p.m.; $30, $25 in advance; two-day “Achievers” pass $39.99.

Fri., April 2; Sat., April 3, 2010

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