No one ever claimed we built the Los Angeles mall-topia on rock 'n' roll (except maybe Hot Topic). But here to erase all remaining illusions of quaint grunge in our sprawling “city” is the self-proclaimed global leader in massive outdoor LED displays: Daktronics.

The company is poised to install 18-foot video displays with “world-class image processing, high contrast, and consistent brightness” in the Westfield Topanga mall. According to the shopping-center chain, the massive rotating technology is merely “phase one” in its conversion to a “Digital Spectacular Network” (and world domination).

Boasts the joint Westfield-Daktronics press release:

“The double-sided displays in Los Angeles, San Francisco and New Jersey measure 18 feet high by 13 feet wide and rotate 360-degrees to deliver maximum visual impact. The single-sided, stationary outdoor display in Chicago also measures 18 feet high by 13 feet wide.”

Admittedly, the “Minority Report” nerd inside us is sort of stoked — with visions of wall-to-wall iPads and advertisements miraculously customized to sell us shit we want. (Speaking of shit we want, are the new iTunes Beatles x-tras ready to rip yet?! Please). At the same time, the angels on our shoulders are tearing us a new one for waxing even more consumer-whore than before, pupils a-glitter in the advanced LED glow. Which, if you think about it, probably has memory-erasing capabilities. Whoa.

“The screens play an 8-minute loop, comprised of 50% advertising with 15-second spots, 25% mall marketing, and 25% news feeds, sports, and weather. Advertisers may also purchase one-side domination.”

Re: Weather — now we don't even have to go outside! Ever! We can just sit in our “Wall-E” chairs, basking beneath the lights of the future, pitying all the poor souls who still trudge around in the sunshine breathing the temperate SoCal oxygen.

“We believe that our large format Digital Spectacular Displays are a first in U.S. shopping centers, and therefore make Westfield the current benchmark of technological innovation,” David Askew, senior vice president of Westfield Media Group, explained to his own press agents, probably over 18-foot Dr. Evil video chat.

For a full gallery of all the third-world slums Daktronics has converted into bright happy capitalistic bubbles, click here. Or if that's too heavy for you, enjoy these Clear Channel Outdoor varieties from your very own city:

(Could they be the very same signs L.A. City Councilmember Jan Parks exempted from the L.A. new-billboard ban a few years back on a sweet deal with Clear Channel? Eh. That's for outdoorsy types.)

Credit: Daktronics

Credit: Daktronics

Credit: Daktronics

Credit: Daktronics

Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.