The Onion's inane “Today Now!” hosts Jim and Tracy welcome celebrity chef Ted Allen (remember when he was on “Queer Eye”?) to show them how to make “some fussy little foodie dishes for you and all your asshole friends.” Check out the video if you want to make your own stupid, over-elaborate, fancy-ass meal: a trendy piece of fish coated in some kind of nut you've never heard of with a side of pureed baby something-or-other.

Allen is host of Chopped on Food Network. We only wish you could actually buy his book, Pretentious Foodie Bullshit, in real life. The video is courtesy of The Onion.

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