Now that bacon has been embraced by Denny's, can someone please declare that the trend is finally, mercifully, over? Perhaps Mayor Bloomberg can do this for us, since we seem to be between mayors at the moment. Giant soft drinks, cigarettes — bacon is arguably just as much of a threat to our national health. Or, if not our physical health, at least our mental health.

It was one thing when we were inundated by artisanal bacon whatsits, done prettily by local chefs who doubtless cured it themselves in their secret (to the health inspectors) basements. But now that you can get a $24.95 plastic “Baconalia” plate at Denny's, now that the chain is offering FREE BACON (two free strips of it on Facebook!), and proclaiming that bacon can help you both get a promotion and salve any wounds you might get after jumping into an empty swimming pool, well, maybe it's time to move on.

I really don't care what we anoint as bacon's successor. Lardo, pork belly and pastrami seem nicely over-rated and just as unhealthful. They taste good. Why not. Give it all a rest and let the PR cycle click around a few times, until bacon can be just something good that people occasionally eat for breakfast with some eggs and a nicely crappy cup of regular coffee.

See also:

– The Top 5 Things Restaurants Should Never Serve Again

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