I've always thought of West Hollywood as a shiny, happy sort of place – but apparently Boys Town isn't always as fabulous as you'd think.

I got an email this morning from a friend telling me that a 27-year-old woman was robbed, kidnapped and raped on February 21 by two guys on Hayworth, in between Norton and Fountain. And just yesterday, a friend of mine had to rescue two pretty actress-types being chased by a crackhead holding his dick in his hand in the alleyway behind Chocolat, on Melrose and Crescent Heights. “It was gross,” she said. “One of the girls got in her car and this guy tried to climb in after her. He had his pants round his ankles and this 'suck my dick' look on his face.”

The other girl scampered over to my friend, who was with several illegal over-the-border furniture movers (she'd hired them to help her move house that day). “This girl stands behind us while I am yelling at the crazy guy, telling him to fuck off because I'm calling the cops.” Upon hearing the word police, my friend's furniture movers get spooked. Suddenly, they are nowhere to be found. My friend said she understood their plight – what she didn't get was why the girls weren't calling the cops themselves on their cell phones. “Then this really fucking hot guy comes out into the alleyway with a towel wrapped around his arm,” she told me. “He was so damn cute…had this Che Guevara cap on…anyway I asked him to call the cops, and he was just like 'hey man…I don't have a phone…can't help you out'.”

Then everything fell into place – the hot guy with the towel around his arm was a dealer and the hot chicks had come to score from him – and regardless of Mr Crackpipe and his dickish antics, there was noooo way any one of them wanted to get the cops involved. Now my friend was pissed. “Fucking junkies!” she yelled, and dialed 911 herself, watching Mr Dick-Hanging-Out attempt to make his way INSIDE Chocolat, a rather lovely French restaurant. 

Moral of the story? Girls, stick to Hollywood, where the crackheads know how to behave themselves.

Posted by Caroline Ryder

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