Written in Partnership with Pleasure SeekerMany regular dating platforms have some kind of section for transgender people, but the transgender community is often subjected to abuse and the ignorant attitudes of cis people on the app’s user base.
On top of that, many trans men and women are fetishized on popular dating websites and treated as sex objects.
What’s a trans single to do?
While we can’t guarantee that you won’t run into chasers and jerks, we’ve compiled a list of the 9 best transgender dating sites and apps for trans women and men, as well as queer and non-binary folk. These apps are generally a much safer place for transgender singles to find love.
Let’s get to it!
Top 9 Best Transgender Dating Sites & Trans Apps
- Very inclusive & non-toxic – Butterfly
- Diverse dating pool – OkCupid
- Best for cis and trans hookups – TS Dates
- Tons of user profiles – My Transexual Date
- Personals-style trans dating – Reddit r/t4t
- Trans only section – Adult Friend Finder
- For those identifying female – HER app
- Like Grindr for trans folk – Transdr App
- Old-school trans dating site – Trans4Date
1. Butterfly – Best For Trans People Who Want to Find Love
Pros
- Designed to find a long-term partner
- 21 gender & 10 sexuality options
- Automatically redacts offensive terms/messages
- Changes based on user feedback
Cons
- Bugs in the app
- Chat function is awkwardly designed
Okay, Butterfly is undoubtedly one of the best dating apps for transgender men and women, as well as non-binary people and others. The app’s user base is roughly 34% trans, 43% cis men and 23% cis women. While most the user base is cis, there are features built in to protect transgender people online.
For example, the Butterfly app automatically redacts offensive terms like “shemale” and “tranny” if someone attempts to send them to you, informing the sender that those terms are offensive. You also can’t post NSFW photos on your profile, so sex is not shoved down your throat all the time.
While there are issues with bugs, Butterfly is improving all the time according to user feedback. If you’re sick of being fetishized, sexualized, and spoken to with offensive terms, then Butterfly could be the perfect solution for you.
2. OkCupid – Best Transgender Dating Experience Online
Pros
- Very LGBTQ+ inclusive
- Fun & quirky design
- Popular in the transgender community
- Extensive personality & morals quiz
Cons
- A lot of cisgender profiles still
- Questionnaire can be exhausting
Despite being primarily aimed at cishet people, OkCupid has earned a name for itself as a staple dating tool of the LGBTQ+ community. The site asks you what feels like a million questions when you sign up, but it’s so you can be matched with people who share your personality traits, morals, and values.
That stuff’s pretty important!
Thanks to all of these questions, you can usually find matches that are similar to you, making it easy to weed out any jerks from the jump. Still, some people find the exhaustive questions tiresome and there are still issues with chasers on the site, so tread carefully.
3. TS Dates – Best for Cis and Trans Hookups
Pros
- Around since 1996
- TV, TG, TS, members of the 3rd sex
- Diverse user base
- Show multiple photos
Cons
- Limited messaging for free members
- Gold membership is pricey
One of the oldest transgender dating sites on the internet, TS Dates has been around since 1996. While it may not be the most glamorous or up-to-date dating platform on this list, its legacy lives on to this day. Designed primarily to hook up cis men with transgender women, this site is great if you fall into one of these categories.
However, a premium membership is pricey!
Free members can display multiple photos, write extensive user profiles, and send a limited number of messages to each other. However, if you want to take things further you’ll need to shell out for $20 per month for their 12-month gold premium membership. You might not find love, but this classic transgender dating site has plenty of users (mostly 30s and above!).
4. My Transexual Date – Best For Transgender Women
Pros
- 100% free for transgender women
- Over 420,000 users
- Lots of trans-attracted men
- Multiple search tools for matches
Cons
- Men have to pay
- Many inactive & fake profiles
While the nomenclature may be a little dated, My Transexual Date is a classic transgender dating website aimed at transwomen who want to date men. Profiles are nice and simple, making things easy to skim when you’re looking through the user base to see who takes your fancy.
There are over 420,000 users on this online dating site, but it must be said that many of them are fake and inactive profiles, so watch out for that. Male members will need to pay to speak to the ladies, which may also put a few guys off.
Nonetheless, there are many search tools to narrow down your perfect date!
5. Reddit r/t4t – Best For Dating Within the Transgender Community
Pros
- Trans personals forum
- Very diverse & non-toxic
- Multiple flairs to filter through
- Community feel
Cons
- Not many users (2,300)
- Hard to meet local people
Reddit’s r/t4t subreddit is essentially a personals-style online dating forum for transgender people. While it’s not as detailed as more established trans dating sites, this subreddit is designed to be very diverse and get rid of any transphobic language or fetishism.
You can filter through users who have various flairs, including TF4F, M4T, TM4T, TF4A and more. It’s not as complex as an online dating site for transgender people, but there’s much more of a community feel here.
Users can post mild or NSFW content here (with NSFW tags) and there’s a lot of fun and supportive back-and-forth flirting. However, with only 2,300 users and the entire world, it can be pretty hard to meet other users in your local area IRL.
6. Adult Friend Finder – Best For Hookups With/Between Trans People
Pros
- Hookups & dating platform
- 80 million users worldwide
- Operating since the 1990s
- Upload videos, live video chat
Cons
- More hookup-focused
- Paid plans are pricey
Adult Friend Finder (or AFF) is a bit of a strange online dating site because it’s kinda designed for hookups and swingers, yet it sometimes leads to long-term relationships too. This longstanding online dating platform has welcomed the trans community for many years and continues to do so to this day.
We love to see it!
Users can upload videos and even take part in live video chats, which is definitely a unique feature as you don’t find trans cams on other sites. It’s also a great way to flirt and make sure that you’re talking to a real person. However, AFF really needs a premium membership to be fully enjoyed, and they don’t come cheap, unfortunately.
7. HER app – Best Lesbian & Trans Woman Dating App
Pros
- Dating app for lesbian, queer, trans women
- Free unlimited messaging
- All users have photos
- Many women looking for love & friendship
Cons
- App has some bugs
- Pricey premium subscription
Designed primarily for lesbian and queer women, HER does welcome transgender women too, with various options for gender identity. The HER app allows you to message your friends and messages no restrictions, and all user profiles have photos so you can browse through them easily.
Good stuff!
While HER is an app designed for queer women, it does tend to lean to cisgender lesbian women, so it may not always be the best app for women of trans experience. Nonetheless, this cool online dating app is very popular with ladies in the 18-34 demographic, and you could meet some really cool people.
8. Transdr App – Best Trans Dating Service For Serious Relationships
Pros
- Designed for transgender dating exclusively
- Non-judgemental user base
- Simple, easy-to-read bio
- Find a partner
Cons
- Questionable marketing tactics
- Lack of non-binary options
Transdr is a relatively new dating app designed for people of trans experience and those who would like to date them. The profiles are simple and easy to use, though this dating platform has been accused of encouraging “chasers” in the past.
Nothing is perfect, I guess.
While this app isn’t perfect, it does have a bunch of dedicated users who like the fact that there’s an app solely for TG personals. The app is still in relatively early stages, but feel free to give it a try if other online dating sites aren’t doing the trick.
9. Trans4Date – Best For Checking Out The Trans Dating Scene
Pros
- 1000s of dating profiles
- Instant messaging for free
- One of the oldest trans dating sites
- Free signup
Cons
- Lots of scammers
- Slow website
Trans4Date is another classic online dating site for transgender people that has been floating around the internet for many years now, working up a dedicated fanbase. The site is designed so that people of trans experience feel comfortable reaching out to others without prejudice.
The simple UI makes it easy for everyone to use this site, though it should be said that the website is slow and there are many scammers and fake profiles on the site. It might do the trick for you, but it wouldn’t be my first choice personally.
What is a TS Girl?
Okay, so a TS Girl usually refers to a transgender girl, a.k.a a transgender woman.
This means that the person was assigned male at birth and was most likely born with male genitalia. However, at a certain age, they decided to transition and began identifying as a woman.
Most of the time, they identified with this gender from childhood.
It’s important to note that not all transgender women have surgery to make them look more feminine. Some trans women may identify as a trans woman but choose to keep her penis and chest as they are.
Alternatively, some transgender women may have the full surgery so that they have a vagina, breasts, and more feminine features in general.
Every transgender person has a different experience!
What is a Crossdresser? (Plus Other LGBTQ+ Terms)
It’s important to not confuse terms like “crossdresser”, “drag queen”, and “transgender”.
Some transgender dating sites even use words like “shemale dating”, “tranny dating” and “transexual dating” which are considered to be outdated and offensive by many transgender people.
Here are the current definitions of many trans-adjacent terms you may come across on these dating platforms if you’re not familiar:
- Crossdresser/ Transvestite – Usually refers to a cisgender man who dresses up in women’s clothing for fun and/or sexual gratification
- Drag Queen – A man who dresses like a woman for entertainment purposes
- Transgender Woman – A person who was assigned male at birth and then transitioned to become female
- Transgender Man – A person who was assigned female at birth and then transitioned to become male
- Cisgender – A man or woman who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth
- Shemale/ Tranny/ Transexual – Outdated and sometimes offensive terms for transgender people (usually trans women)
- Non-binary/ Genderqueer/ Genderfluid – Refers to a person who chooses not to identify as either male or female – they may encompass qualities of both sexes, switch between the two, or make no effort to look like a typical man/woman
Bear in mind that different people understand these terms differently, and the language around the LGBTQ+ community is always changing and evolving. So while these definitions are usually correct in most cases, some people may identify in unique ways.
If you’re not sure, ask for clarification in a polite and respectful manner!
Does Dating a Transgender Person Make You Gay?
No, dating a transgender person does not make you gay.
If you’re a heterosexual man who’s attracted to women, then it makes sense that you’re also going to be attracted to some transgender women.
This doesn’t make you gay, as you’re attracted to a WOMAN. She just happens to be transgender.
If she has a penis and you like that, then you may be a little bit bisexual or you may simply be attracted to transgender people aesthetically.
Most of us are not 100% straight or 100% gay when it comes to sexual orientation, and when someone has a trans gender identity of some kind, it’s not uncommon to be attracted to different aspects of a transgender guy or gal.
Look up the Kinsey Scale for more information on sexuality.
Where Can I Meet Transwomen?
There are many transgender dating sites where you can meet transwomen and men of various sexual orientations and gender identities.
TSDates and My Transexual Dates are designed primarily for cisgender heterosexual men who want to meet transgender women.
However, there are also apps like Transdr and Butterfly that are catered more toward the trans community itself.
Who Do Transgender People Date?
Transgender people date all different kinds of people, it depends on them, their sexual orientation, and what they’re comfortable with.
For example, transgender singles may date men and women who are cisgender and heterosexual. They may date other transgender singles. They may date members of the LGBTQ community who are gay but cisgender.
It really depends.
Never assume anything about the sex life of a transgender person – the trans dating scene is diverse and made up of many different sexualities and gender identities coming together to find love.
Conclusion – What’s the Best Transgender Dating Site?
While all these transgender dating sites have their pros and cons, TSDates and Butterfly would probably be my top picks for the best trans dating sites.
TSDates leans on the “chasery” side, but Butterfly is designed to help people of trans experience find a long-term partner.
It depends what you’re looking for!
Whatever kind of dating service you want, we hope that this list contains a site that will help you and meet your needs. Just remember to treat everyone with the kindness, respect, and love that they rightfully deserve.
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