Brennan FoleyBroads say all kinds of shit before they leave. Mostly, it's meant to be hurtful, but ultimately, each and every one knows better. Or at least they know me better.
The sting doesn't work or maybe it has its intended consequence for the single moment before I actually think about it.
That's because over the years, I've heard enough angry blather that I've figured out what broads are actually saying when they're irrationally berating you for being a man.
Here are some examples you may find helpful:
“You have no respect!”
Translation: I am angry with you for sleeping with my friend.
“You have no idea how to treat a woman!”
Translation: You haven't given up your hard-partying lifestyle for me and therefore I am saddened.
“I hate you!”
Translation: I truly find you repulsive at this very moment, but when I remember how big your cock is, I will forgive you.
“Now I see what kind of person you really are.”
Translation: I've enjoyed having sex with you and would like a relationship. I am angered that you do not feel the same.
“You don't give a shit about anyone!”
Translation: You don't like me as much as your mother or your dog.
“I thought you cared about me.”
Translation: The fact that you looked into my eyes when we had sex confused me.
“You're a coward and a liar!”
Translation: It makes me unhappy that you are still seeing other women. I wish I were open minded.
“You only think with your dick!”
Translation: I am pained that I am not good in bed.
“Don't ever call me again!”
Translation: Wait until I call you.
If a woman actually said what she meant when she left you, it would save us all a lot of time, but that isn't a woman's nature. Women need to make a spectacle of themselves in order to feel better. Don't worry about it. You've done nothing wrong and it will pass.
The other thing about women is they need to have the last word, so let them make their scene and don't sweat it. With a little practice, you'll understand what they really mean.
Eventually, they understand what they really meant, too, and come strolling back like nothing ever happened.
It's your reward for listening to them speak and truly understanding their feelings.
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.