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A bridesmaid tried to get her friend to show off her tattoos for her wedding, despite being in a conservative country. Asian brides typically don’t have or show their tattoos because of unfavorable cultural views. This topic is coming to light as more westerners are looking for partners on Asian dating sites.
Asking the Reddit Community
Reddit is known for offering many users the opportunity to join a community that shares their views. One of these is Bridezillas, a community that serves as ‘a place for stories of your favorite bridezilla.’ In her post, this bridesmaid claimed that her friend, whom she refers to as Hadley, didn’t want to show her tattoos. She also wrote about how Asian women receive scrutiny for having tattoos.
“I live in a conservative SEA country,” she wrote. “Where tattoos are seen as uncouth & unprofessional.”
She noted that she herself has full ‘sleeves’, while Hadley only has a few in her inner arms and ribs. ‘Sleeves’ refer to tattoos covering the entirety of the forearm. Notably, Hadley’s family did not know about the tattoos.
Asian women keep their tattoos hidden while dating because they would be looked down upon. This could affect the way they’re perceived at work or at home. The bridesmaid shared her opinion on the matter, saying that the bride was ‘restricting her own autonomy by conforming to their ideology’.
She mentioned Hadley’s reluctance to show her tattoos because she was worried it would affect her reputation. Despite this, she said the bride-to-be would speak up whenever her family remarked rudely about tattoos.
“She vocally disagrees with her parents… but keeps up the facade that she has no tattoos, which honestly makes her look like a hypocrite.”
Asian Brides Hide Their Tattoos
According to the bridesmaid, the issue arose when she went with Hadley and her stepmother to look for dresses. As she was very open about her tattoos, she recommended the bride choose a dress showing off her own. However, she refused saying that she wasn’t confident in showing off her arms.
The bridesmaid said that she believes this is offensive to the tattoo artist. “Somehow that rubbed me in the wrong way because any artist would love for their pieces to be seen, & she was sort of disrespecting the artist by covering it up.”
Ultimately the bride declined to choose a dress that would reveal her secret tattoos in front of her stepmother. Apparently, this bothered the bridesmaid who sought reassurance from the reddit community. “And what’s the point in getting tattoos if you don’t show them off?” She asked.
Community Members Respond
Many users did not agree with the bridesmaid who wrote the post, saying that it was ‘just so tone deaf.’
One member commented that it was her choice to both get the tattoos and to decide what dress she wears. They also called out the original poster saying “You’re being super annoying and it wouldn’t surprise me if she booted you for creating an unnecessary problem to such an enormous degree.”
Another user responded jokingly after reading ‘what’s the point of getting tattoos if you’re not showing them off’.
“I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt. How absolutely ridiculous. All of her friends and bf are right that she should get over herself.”
Dating Apps Help Men Meet Asian Women
Men are finding success using dating apps that help them meet women in Asia. Modern women are even using more forward hook-up apps like Local Sex App, to find men who fit their momentary needs.
Asian dating sites such as Momo and Skouts are two of the most popular used by foreigners and expats. For many it’s simply easier to find more matches in Asia than it is in their home country. One app user from the UK says he’s been using dating app Tantan for a month and already has 236 matches.
“In the UK, when I use Tinder, I usually get 20 to 30 matches tops,” he says. “Because there are fewer girls who swipe right for me than in China.”
Asian dating sites are plentiful and offer westerners the opportunity to find a partner overseas. However, as the Bridezilla story illustrates, it’s important to understand the culture you’re getting involved in. Dating apps also give users a way to ease into the relationship and prevent culture shock.
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